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As an ex-coke user myself (been clean for 2 years now) I have some advice for you and it isn’t good news and I have to be blunt with this and I’m going to explain what is happening.
So cocaine is a stimulant and is apart of a group of drugs called ampetemines (uppers) this group contains drugs such as MDMA and Speed. They all do the same thing and get you high. I mean high as in it floods your brain with huge amounts of uncontrolled dopemine. far, far more than the brain will ever release in normal circumstances.
Dopemine is basically what gives you pleasure. Such as when you have sex and have an orgasm.. that’s a dopemine hit, you get alot of it released when you orgasm. Anything you do that you like and enjoy, you get a dopemine hit for it. it makes you feel good. – Dopemine in the brain in usual circumstances is controlled by the brain itself so you never get too much of it but just enough to want to feel that feeling again. You do the things you enjoy because it makes you feel good. Such as when your kids do something and get excited, you get excited for them too. – This is why kids are never seem to sit still because their young brains are just constantly giving them hits of dopemine and kids being kids seek it out in anything that makes them feel good. it’s basically your brains lifeforce in simple terms. It keeps you alive, it keeps you going to work, doing the dishes etc.
Ok, now I’ve explained what dopemine is I’ll move on to whats happening in your husbands brain when he is using.
So when he does a line it goes straight to the brain via the bloodvessels in the nose. it’s absorbed very, very quickly and it only takes maybe a minute to feel the effects. – it starts off gradually and just gets stronger and stronger and after a few minutes his brain has been flooded with massive amounts of uncontrolled dopemine in amounts that the brain wouldn’t even come close to releasing, he’s basically just gave his brain an orgasm. So he’s super happy, chatty, looks like he’s enjoying himself and is probably really nice to be around. I bet he’s tried it on with you when he’s had a line, maybe you’ve had great sex while he’s high.
20 mins later it’s worn off and he’s feeling like crap.. so does another and when that’s worn off it’s another. I don’t know the extent of your husbands habit but it sounds as if he’s balls deep in his addiction. it’s why people get addicted to it because it makes you feel good. – it’s not something that happens over night, it creeps up on you over a long period of time. – you feel awful when it’s wearing off which is why you keep using. the withdrawals and comedowns are horrible.
it goes from a line with your mates at the weekend to a line after you’ve had an argument with him, a line when he’s abit stressed, it goes from using at the weekend to using it in the week then using it more in the week to eventually just doing it everyday.. you need more and more to get the same effect as the brains defence mechinisms kick in and as the tolorence goes up amd so does the use.
– At my height I was doing £100 quid a day and I was 15 grand in debt. I also owed my dealer £1500 quid. I was sniffing 8balls in 3 or 4 lines.. my lines weighed a gram and if you saw how much a gram is in powder form you’d be sick.
Eventually you stop getting high and this is when the real fun begins.
You mentioned he waits till you’ve gone somwhere till he uses. That’s because of the paranoia.. if you use enough you get acute paranoia and that is nighmarish… it eats away at you and makes you feel like you’re trapped in a living nightmare. your hearing all sorts, you think you’re being watched or followed by something unseen and you can’t just stop it. – it’s what lead me to try ending my own life. so you HAVE to keep using to keep that paranoia at bay.. it’s no longer a choice you have when you reach this stage it becomes something else altogether. the cocaine owns you now and you’re not going to stop because if you do then the paranoia starts the withdawrals are vile.
It starts dictating your life down to the last hour. you start planning when you need to have a line, you have your dealer on speed dial and he’s probably or if he isn’t already he’ll be getting it on ‘tick’ which means he’ll get a bag and owe the money to his dealer. when your addicted to cocaine nothing else matters, not you, not his kids, not anything and this is the truth.. the only thing that matters is getting a line – you leaving makes him stop using cause he’s lost you and the kids but as soon as you go back he’ll start using again and the cycle continues. – it rewires your brain to the point where you can’t function without a line.
I nearly lost my job because of it, I tried to end my life 3 times because I couldn’t get off it. it really is that addictive.. it ends up literally controlling your life and you’ll risk doing stupid stuff just to have it, like maybe going into work late because you need a line to get through work so you need a bag. – I had 2 choices 2 years ago when my mate saved my life – I either keep using and end up dead or get off it and live.
Doesn’t matter how many times I talk about this is still gets me highly emotional but I carry on because I don’t want to see another victim to cocaine.
I don’t know where in his addiction your husband is but he needs help and fast. if he doesn’t get help RIGHT NOW he’ll not only lose you and his kids but he’ll lose EVERYTHING and this includes his own life.
I really hope he gets professional help, there’s nothing you can do at this stage.. nothing you say will stop him using because if he’s addicted enough he’ll just think your nagging, he won’t want to admit he has a problem because I didn’t.. it took 3 attempts on my life to finally reach out and get the help I so badly needed because I wouldn’t be here right now warning you otherwise. For you and your kids and relationships sake he needs help and it can’t wait, addictions only get worse until he’s hit rock bottom and then he’ll have 2 choices like I did after he’s lost everything like me. stop using and live or keep using and die.
Sorry to be blunt and if it terrifies you then I’m sorry, it’s just how it is. how all addictions are. – My mate still uses and I don’t see him anymore but I can tell he still uses cause I know the signs when I do see him and it’s not good. some people can hide thier addictions for years. it seems like your husband can’t hide it and this is why you are reaching out for help. – I hope that he does. I’m sorry you’re going through this. stay safe.