[res19]

Hey,

Wanted to reach out as I have been in the same position. My ex of 5 years was a cocaine addict (it didn’t become apparent until around 2 years). He would constantly lie to me about taking it, even when I found evidence.

I would often tell him I would leave him, sometimes I would but within a few days of him saying he will change, I would take it back.

It got to the point where I was miserable, he would leave me on nights out to go pick it up, always had to be the last one standing at parties or on nights out, so I would often end up going home alone. I would beg, plead and insist he get some help, sometimes he would say he would and other times he would argue that he didn’t need to get help as “he didn’t have a problem”.

Around 2 months ago he was out and didn’t come home until 7am and I knew it was because he was on a coke binge. This was the straw that broke the camels back for me and the next day I asked him to move out. He agreed and left, I don’t think he will ever change, as now he can do the drugs without consequences but the relief when you finally let the person go is worth it.

I leant that no matter how much you love a person or give them support or everything you have, it will never be enough if they have an addiction. They have to want to change for themselves.

I would advise leaving him and going on to live a life you owe to yourself, it will be hard and you may have moments where you miss him. However it’s worse to stay and see someone self destruct before your eyes and choose the drugs over you time and time again. Be strong, get support around you and find someone who appreciates you and doesn’t need drugs to enjoy life.

Good luck xx

[res19]

Thank you for your reply, it’s good to know that I’m not the only one who has been through it, although in an ideal world, no one should have to go through.

I just wish I had the drive to leave him, I am my own worst enemy as I have given him ultimatums before and never stuck to them, which is why the situation has continued.

I wish I knew why I was staying, like I said I don’t rely on him for anything, and yes I love him but slowly think I am falling out of love with him.

The worst thing is the gaslighting, making you feel like you are going mad and seeing things and even when you know you are not, they just deny everything and it’s like talking to a wall.

I said to him “quit or il leave” he finally admitted to having a drug addiction and that he wants help, yet he’s spent the last two days walking around like he’s fine and nothing has changed. I honestly don’t know how I have ended up here.

[Author]

Posts