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Hi itgeek,
Sorry for the late reply. What I mean by too familiar is that she is now so familiar with the way you are, how you react, what you may do and so on. Nothing you can probably say to her will jump start her into action and so her only option is to try and eliminate her addictions and stabilise her mental health issues.
As far as residential treatment I can really say who could provide it but I would absolutely insist that her mental health team prioritise her addictions.
I do hope you can help her because she sounds like a good friend.
Please let me know how you get on and good luck.
Hi Emma,
That’s great news! 3 days without anything just shows your commitment and going to get some is not loosing so don’t feel bad. Restless leg is the worst this I’ve experienced when withdrawing and I know what you mean by crying. Hopefully you will get some fantastic help from the drugs service and please please let me know how you get on because I’m behind you 1000%. Something take time and we don’t always get it the first few time! Good luck on your appointment
Good!
Even is he feels like he doesn’t need it and it’s a load of nonsense try and get some help with addiction because relapse is common as he’s found out. Enjoy your new baby.x
Sadly you know this but he’s not going to stop and will continue. I’m sure you love him deeply as my wife did me but you need this advice. Moving to the next step is the only thing that will really help him because what your doing now has become acceptable to him.
No one can force you to get out but it is probably the only thing that may help him. I know you will be thinking about this the same time next year, the next 5 years until the worst. Help him by taking ACTION. He’s an addict and that’s how we work and unless he commits to reality and has regular treatment and drug testing then it will never work. He maybe attending but he’s not listening. It’s really hard to break away. Ultimatum is a horrible word and love has no limits.
Hi itgeek,
Sad, unfortunately your not an expert at helping her and her mental health is in a horrible place! Ultimately she needs residential rehab and serious therapy to help her. I’m afraid you can never really help her because she is too familiar with your tactics! Sometimes we as people try our best to help someone but all we can do is try, if that person is so mentally deep in depression then the only way out is professional intervention. Sometimes your help may make it worse believe it or not and unless she escapes this destructive lifestyle and gets admitted then it will be a long road for everyone. I can’t advise you on what to do but please try your best to maintain your own sanity and only do what you can do. She can never love you because her mind needs help. I feel for you my friend, I really do.
And I visited my doctors 3 times with my addiction before I got the professional help. It’s ok, you will be fine.
Morning Emma34,
Yes yes yes, they will refer you to one but it’s not as scary as you think! It’s really helpful and very professional. They will HELP you because they see it every day from some of the most professional people, dentists, nurses, police officers and solicitors are all secrets addicts! Tell your doctor Everything and don’t hold back on how much you take and how deep you are because they can help. You need professional help and please don’t be scared or ashamed because, trust me it’s liberating! X do it girl
Gil,
Morning, I want you to know that your story is not new and very concerning. As you already know physical contact is never acceptable in any circumstance and regardless of his explanation for blacking out which in my extensive experience I know to be unrealistic. Anyway, your not going to be able to help him with his addiction because your too close to him. Absolutely 1000% he’s deep in a physical and mental addiction that needs professional help and his GP or local addiction ctr is his first step to get the help he needs. Please please don’t get yourself into a long term abusive situation because his behaviour will definitely not change and he is fully aware of what he has done to you but can’t control the addiction. Firstly, You need to stay safe ! But you need to insist on him getting help for his addiction and don’t take “no I’m not” because he is. If you fear telling him then do it in a public place or write him a letter.
I guarantee you he will never escape cocaine or alcohol on his own as it’s not possible. And do not EVER let him put his hands on you again!!!!!
If you live in the same house then find an alternative because it’s just a house. I’m sure he’s a nice person without the poison but first he needs to stop everything to become that person. I wish you the best of luck.
Az12,
I feel for you I do!
Crack is no one of the easiest to withdraw from but is definitely achievable my friend.
But, I absolutely advise you to get professional help doing so because your set to fail if you don’t. If you haven’t tried before then now is your chance to make that change and please don’t be ashamed because you are among 1000s of people in the same situation.
Hi Jasminnie, cocaine is very very addictive and unfortunately your son is at his stage of addiction denial. Your only option is to command that he gets help, professional help even if he think he has a problem or not. Don’t take the “I’m not using” because you sound far too clever for any of that, your self testing him! He’s an an addict in denial so Challenging him to complete a test in front of you then setting up a meeting at an addiction ctr would be his only option, and thats what you must present to him. Trust me! All his money and any money that you have givenloaned him has been spent on this Dirty drug. I feel for you but I feel for him because it’s an unforgiving drug. Good luck
Hi kingskid,
This is sad, I’m afraid I hear this more than I like and your story is identical in every way.
Firstly, your not an expert or a professional addiction advisor so don’t feel guilty if you can’t help.
Your role in the relationship is to be strong and supportive the best you can but if your partners has not admitted to his addiction then you will be in this for as long as he can sustain the lifestyle or you leave the relationship. Only way you can help is to give him an ultimatum in the nicest way. GET help! Help is available and he can do it but he must want to do it and admit his addiction.
You sound like a nice caring person and you obviously want the best for him but remember that your not an expert advisor and your desire to live a healthier more fruitful life needs to be your priority.help him but DON’T become his enabler or long term addiction partner, trust me it’s a horrible path. Enjoy your life.
Hey Johnb123,
Good on you for having another go!
So, I take no pride in saying that I’m a veteran at withdrawal attempts and the main drug of choice is Codeine but I have overcome Morphine addiction and that was horrendous let me tell you. Have you seen trainspotting? Anyway, I also like to refer to YouTube video and find some of the tips very useful but some of the best tips are: Hot baths absolutely Hot baths, or shower, and as many as you can. A good collection of high power vitamins, Imodium, orange juice, ice, sleeping tablets from boots, and most of all a large portion of determination to not take this life threatening drug again. Restless leg is a horrible symptom but the hot baths help and go for a random walk at night if you need too. It’s never easy buy unfortunately it’s an addiction and it’s Codeine. N+ is dangerous as I’m sure your aware but I have seen people’s stomachs rupture from taking it so either stick to codeine only products or try your best to quit.. good luck my friend.
Your welcome,
He’s almost certainly in the addiction grip by now and although he may have genuine pain it’s the most commonly used method of getting opioids. The paracetamol will definitely do massive damage if he doesn’t get it under control and this site is littered with people who have damaged their insides with paracetamol or ibuprofen. My advice is get to the doctors with him and assistant with the addiction and the pain, ever addict says “I’m not addicted” The euphoria of codeine gives us a fabulous sense of security and then destroys you as a person. It’s nothing no be ashamed about so don’t ever let him feel like he’s done wrong. It’s a horrible drug and has ruined many people’s lives. I wish you the very best of luck.
Jgkee,
Thank you for posting and it’s kind of you to think of your friend.
Coco for short in large quantities is never great. I and many other have quite easily tripled that on a daily basis so your friend is at the start of a slippery slope. He’s basically trying to achieve that feeling that codeine gives you but unfortunately his body is becoming familiar with the opioid and needs larger quantities to achieve this. The worrying thing is the paracetamol that he’s consuming will almost certainly do DAMAGE. 20x will become 30x then 40x then his prescription will run out which I assure you it already has, and he will start purchasing lower grads from the pharmacy and will spiral quickly. He needs to try an take control and his GP needs to take control of his pain in a different way. Is sweating will be fro the large quantities of codeine but the paracetamol is poisoning him. Perhaps a strong suggestion of a visit to his doctor with his wife/friend but I guarantee you he is in fear of upsetting the flow of coco. Get him to see the doctor please.
Confused123,
I want you to know that your message is absolutely familiar and makes sense!
Many people in my circle of current and past Codeine addicts display this kind of behaviour, identical even. What’s important is YOU!!! Please take care and try not to stress because your baby is your priority for sure, nothing else. When my wife was pregnant I was going through one of many withdrawals and one minute I was lovely and the next I was packing my bag. Withdrawals make you act like someone else, basically you can’t control the monster inside that makes you want to take the pills. That said, please don’t take this the wrong way but try to trust him in portions and take what he says with caution because sneaky pill popping is the way addict work, and it’s a hard drug to kick. Depending on how much he’s been taking and how long for it would be quick of me to say that he may return to taking. Anyway, keep yourself calm and if he’s in the zone and threatening to leave and no longer thinks it will work then remember, it’s the cravings + physical and mental part of the drug. If he loves you he will either fight through it and beat the demons or seek professional help to get off the codeine. Take car of that bump!