[rubyblue]

Hi and thank you for responding. I was totally blinded by love and his charm. I trusted him and quickly opened up to him. It was so easy for him to manipulate and control me because he used my insecurities and past issues against me. When he was high he would express his desire to do crazy and disgusting sexual activities with other people. I took them with a grain of salt until he actually tried to put one of those in motion. And that was having a threesome with my sister. He called her up while she was at work and told her I was at his place and there was an emergency. She went over there with a friend and all he said was he wanted to plan a nice getaway for me. He told me all these crazy things about when she was over there and of course I checked with her and she told me a totally different story. I knew he was using when he did that so I didn’t believe anything he told me. I know he wanted to give my sister a shot of meth and then have me come over and give me some and then his fantasy would be acted out. I can only describe it as delusional thinking that he would think my sister and I would do that. That whole event is how I caught him in his lies. The thing I told my sister was that I needed the truth from her because I knew my outlook was distorted by my feelings for him. He always made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. He pointed out every girl he thought was hot and made me feel like the ugliest thing to walk the earth. I was doing everything I could to be good enough for him. I thought if I was better than maybe he would stop using like he always promised he would. But nothing would ever be enough because he is the problem. I totally understand how it feels to be destroyed and I’m so sorry that you’ve been through this as well. Congratulations on your baby. And you are absolutely right that those children are the best of him! Take care.

[rubyblue]

Thank you so much for your response. I am so glad I found this forum where I can openly and honestly share my story. Family and friends tend to be biased and judgemental so I like getting opinions from neutral territory. I definitely felt like he was living a double life, but it took me a long time to catch him in all his lies. It does hurt because I did love him, but I know I am better off without him. He said I was number one, but drugs will always be number one in his life even though he will never admit that. Thanks again and take care as well.

[Author]

Posts