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no I know…..not sure I can ask around quietly, I don’t really know these new friends. I left a few bits of clothes outside for him to pick up and they have gone, but I haven’t heard from him and don’t expect to until his friends are fed up of him or he hasn’t any money or he thinks I have had enough time to miss him and take him back. I know I have to be strong and leave him to feel a bit of hardship but its not easy. I feel tearful and very weary xxx

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Doubt his probation officer would have said that, they lie as well you know. You have done what you can, leave him to it. xxxx

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no you cant,and neither can I, I am such a mug…..he has now gone out, he will blow the last bit of cash he has and then blame me for giving him his card…. this time I have to let him lose everything, it may be the only way he is ever going to learn. I feel so bad because at the minute I cannot bare to even look at him, I am so sick of him and his debts………….he says if I want him out to find him somewhere to live, he means pay for somewhere, why should I he will drag me deeper and deeper into debt. He doesn’t seem to realise that in the real world you have to pay your way.

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Hi Janeyj……how old is your son? My son is 22 he came home last night and when I told him he had letters demanding payments which I had already made for him. He said well your problem, you got my card, you sort it. I felt like chucking the whole flippin lot at him. I went out for the evening and had to come home as I didn’t trust him, he told me he had my dog out late evening, he never ever takes her out and I worried what he was doing with her, it crossed my mind he would sell her or give her away…..how sad is that. He got paid yesterday and because he has taken time off work he is 300 down so cannot pay me my money back which I have paid out to stop debt collecters turning up but at least his immediate bills are covered. I am waiting for him to start demanding money……I sometimes feel like I am at breaking point, it seems like a never ending battle to keep on top of his debts and he doesn’t even care. He knows he wont have money and cant go out this month and maybe not next month so it will be interesting to see how long it takes for the threats and begging for money to start. While my son has had no cash he has been staying in but as soon as he gets hold of money that’s it…….

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Good for you concerned mum, the little ones come first in all of this shit. They don’t make these choices. It’s not easy but get police help to get these addicted bullies out of your home and life. None of us deserve. This. Good luck honey xx

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and thank god that little boy has you, luckily my son has no children, they suffer big time form parental drug abuse, so need someone stable in their lives. I understand how you feel, I feel ashamed of my son for how he has turned out, and wonder at what point I missed something……..

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I agree with you, I think they think its such a laugh to get wasted. It really winds me up as I know my sons ‘mates’ encourage him, not that he needs a lot. I wish I had to nerve to tell them all to p… off the way you did. well done x

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cos I don’t want to see him with debt collectors chasing him, I don’t want to see him lose his job…..but I know in my heart that as soon as I have sorted it out as best I can and his money is in the bank he will demand his card and blow the lot. It has reached a point where if he doesn’t touch next months money he can pay his arrears and pay me back. He will still have debt but if he is sensible he could manage…. trouble is he cant be sensible…..

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He has spent all day lying on his bed texting / sleeping. His eyes look red, and he is pale does this sound like anything to anyone? He cant be bothered to do anything…..cept let me spend all afternoon trying to negotiated with this company for the new debt. I am tired…

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just made him take a call from a company after money, he wasn’t happy. I then said how rough he looked he has been out most of the night and got a load of abuse. I really really don’t need this. He says I am paranoid and I start to think I am. I can see what is going on but you still hope deep down that it is something else not drugs. He is getting through so much money I just cant see how you would spend that much on drink?

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put your children first, please……they deserve better.

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I am in the same boat, they lie and manipulate until you give them money. No self respecting parent wants to see their child hungry but what on earth are we meant to do when they throw their money away on drugs or booze. I am seeing my money slowly go down the drain and it makes me sick, I work hard and it hurts when I try to help my son and he takes my help then laughs at me and says he knows I wouldn’t see him in trouble, He may be in for a shock….

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maybe I should add, that when he got paid this month, he blew the lot in two nights, so had nothing to pay any bill or get to work

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well after everything I have said, I have done it again. He was a day away from losing his car insurance and his job, he begged me to help him with bills. promised he would stay in at night, leave his account alone, go and get help for his problem. So I helped him and at midnight he has gone out, to mcdonalds he says……. I am so angry with myself I must be the worlds biggest mug…….I cant even begin to imagine what the hell he is up to, but I don’t think I can do this much longer, it is the lies and deceit as much as anything, he just doesn’t seem to be able to help himself…….

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it really hurt me to say I should not have given birth to him and I am sure you all know that, I love him but am tired of it all. My live which should be peaceful and stable now if full of worry and uncertainty. I cannot make him see what he is doing to his life let alone mine and would he care, no he wouldn’t. I feel like I am banging my head against a wall when I talk to him, he just doesn’t get it……..

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