I’m reading this and I can relate to it all. It’s so tough on partners.
Mine seems to be keeping off of cocaine at the moment but I’m still checking everything as he’s lied to me before about stopping. It’ll take a long time to get that trust back and get over the lies and deceit.
It’s not a healthy way to live and that’s why it causes anxiety and depression. But I know self care is important but it’s so hard to make that time with everything going on.
Sorry that you’re having these rough experiences too but thanks for sharing as it helps