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Hi, i really feel for you in this awful situation, i am going through something similar with my sister at the moment, its really hard not to pay attention to what they are saying,especially when it is so painful. i think they are looking for someone to blame because they feel so awful and ultimately blame themselves, this is not about anything you are doing. does your mum have any friends you could ask to speak to her in a supportive way when she is sober so it is not coming from you??? try not to take on the blame she is putting on to you, i ended up phoning the police as i could not manage my sisters aggression any longer, whilst this does sound extreme it has opened up some help for my sister, if your mum kicks off again i would consider doing this, it might at least show her the impact her drinking is having. maybe you could suggest she goes to her doctor for some help, my sister is now going to addaction which seems positive. finally is there anyone you and your brother could stay with for a bit, again i know this might seem unsupportive or extreme but her bbehaviour is extreme and you need to look after yourself. i admit i am still trying to do this too and i am not awlays successful, i found the video on this home page helpful in this. i really hope you ALL get the love and support you need and things start changing soon.
Why don’t addicts see its not the material things you do or do not take from those around you like money, but the emotional and psychological impact of your addiction on others that is so difficult to cope with? you and only you are responsible for your situation, you and only you makes the choice to take drugs, until you fully accept this you will be hoping for someone or something to get you out the crap and as such will always stay in the situation you are in as long as you think this way. Stand up and take resposnisibilty for your choices and make changes yourself. Nothing is as bad as the effects your drug use has on you and those who i am sure still care for you. Have you ever stopped to think what little care you are showing others by continuing to use instead of focussing on the lack of care you think others are showin you? i wish you luck in taking responsibility and therefore making the most of the support available to you.