[sarah008]

Hi Holkat,

I think what you’re feeling is completely natural and that addiction and choice are actually so intertwined you don’t know where one ends and the other begins.

On bad days I think it’s obviously a choice to put the drug in your system, no one forces them to, they weren’t born needing it and lived a life pre addiction where they existed without it.

But then on other days I think nobody in their right mind would chose to be an addict and how awful it must be to have a compulsion you can’t control. Something that makes you into a shadow of the person you used to be, causes you to lose so many things and jeopardises relationships.

I suppose the nature of addiction is it creeps up on a person, what can go from recreational or social use of alcohol or drugs can slowly become a coping mechanism and a crutch. What once was a choice becomes a necessity and the fear of losing that crutch is greater than the fear of losing jobs, their home, friends and family.

But then ultimately they have to chose to fight their addiction with all the treatment options there are available. People can recover from addiction, whereas sadly people with some physical illnesses don’t have the option of treatment and recovery.

Essentially I’m just as confused about this conundrum as you! Make sure you take some time out for yourself though, self care is important x

[sarah008]

Hi Danman,

Hope your ok and we’ll done for being clean for 3 months especially after 11years. You should be really proud of yourself!

Thanks for your reply, even by just confirming some of what I already thought I feel at least I’m not going crazy. Sometimes as the non user you question your rationale and wonder if you’re being unreasonable.

Hope you don’t mind me asking but what was it you think helped going to the CA meetings? My partners said in the past he would worry he would just meet more people to potentially do drugs with and it could be an added temptation. Half of me thinks this is just an excuse not to go or because he’s ashamed and embarrassed.

[sarah008]

Hii Lee,

I think you have to accept that relapse is part of the recovery process, it’s unfortunately likely to happen but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try again.

You did 6 months which is great, bet you didn’t think you could do that before? This time try and go longer, eventually you’ll reach a point where you won’t want to use again and undo all the hard work you’ve done.

There’s a life out there waiting for you to live it, you can do it! You deserve to live a life free of drugs and to be happy. Keep us posted on your progress.

Sarah

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