[sarah12345]

Hello,

I’m not too sure how old this is so don’t know if your still reading but it’s nice to see I’m not completely alone here.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 9 years. I’ve never been so adored by someone and then bam last year like a brick it hit me he has a serious cocaine addiction. Every 2 weeks he’ll go on a 3-4 days bender don’t hear a word from him never replies to any msg phonecall and then the come down hit and I get nothing but sorry msgs begging me back.

I’m literally at breaking point I don’t know why I find it so hard to walk away. We’ve just broke up for almost 2 months due to me finding out he had been messaging girls during cocaine binges he literally begged me saying he never even dreams of msging anyone when he’s off it I just can’t believe this to be honest . I have been in an absolute state over it. I then last week fell really ill as I have no one else in my life guess who happened to turn up at my door? It was then a week of him treating me like a princess begging for my forgiveness and I’m now once again on day two of hearing nothing from him.

I know what everyone says just leave and start fresh I also know this is the best thing to do. I just don’t understand why it is so hard for me and I suffer so dramatically. He has gone to the doctors and has been referred to a drug addiction help clinic but still on binges it actually makes me want to take the stuff just to understand how great it is but I wouldn’t do so. I also suffer with anxiety(any guesses why) so I know that would be the most ridiculous thing I could do. I now have no one to talk to anymore as my sister who was my go to is now not talking to me due to me forgiving him. I don’t blame her to be honest.

Very alone!

[Author]

Posts