[shannon]

I assume, although they may not be that Children’s Services are already involved as he is having supervised contact. Why was the supervised contact put in place?

How old are your children, what do they want?

Do you feel that they are emotionally affected by having contact with him, if so how?

Have you discussed your concerns with the ‘allocated worker.’ (if there is one).

I cannot imagine how hard it is for you and you obviously want what is best for your children, why do you think stopping contact should happen?

Finally, you are not responsible for your husbands behaviour (I know its hard its human nature to want to help/ change things ). I’m sure you want to keep the staus quo, not feel that you have caused the spiral. He is an adult and can make choices however ‘unwise’ they maybe.

My experience is that sometimes people do have to reach crisis point before they will make any changes.

Addiction is an awful thing for everyone affected. At the end of the day we are role models for our children, if they are at an age where you can talk to them, then involve them, talk through your concerns. Are they concerned, what do they want?

A child’s perspective:

I didn’t like seeing my mum at agreed times. I wanted us to be a ‘normal’ family. It was embarrassing, I had to lie about my mum to friends. I loved my mum, but I wanted the mum back, when she was a part of our lives like my friends mum’s. I missed that mum. I didn’t really know what was going on until I was alot older. It’s awful but she had no motivation to change and I felt very helpless. Looking back I would not have wanted not to see her, but it broke my heart.

[Author]

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