[shazza]

Hi ya, thank you for your replies,

I’ve gone off sick for a while, and my children’s father will have the children, I’ve booked myself some where away from this town to sort my self out, I don’t know if it’s achievable but I’ve done it, and taking one day as it comes, there is a swimming pool and gym there, I know I am going to feel so ill because of the amount I do and drink, but hoping in five days which I’ve never got to no where near that, will clear my head a bit then be a bit mentally stronger.

I only come on this site yesterday and is so nice to know I am not the only person in the world that just can’t do it!! Even though we try so hard, there is always a excuse isn’t there. But lots of people say it’s got to be the right time and if you want to do it !! Really want to do it then you have more of a chance,

My house is being sold and split and I am terrified I will use it for that, well I know I would, so I really need to believe in my self, which I’ve never done in anything in my life.

How are you doing

Do you go too groups etc ? Do you have a family do they know ? X

[shazza]

Hi

Thank you

I’ve had looked before but nothing in my area and I don’t drive. I went to AA meetings pretended it was alcohol more so , it calmed me down a bit then didn’t bother turning up as life just so busy.

I wish I was some one else

I just feel such a mess and failure

And no one knows , I hide it well still wear make up get things done but I ve lost friends due to being paranoid and anxious I just feel so lost and lonely x

[shazza]

Hi

I actually don’t know what to wright on here but I need help desperately too.

I work hard and have children

But five yrs ago me and my partner fell out of love, and I had a affair

It was the most amazing thing buzz ever

I’ve always had a addictive personality and always dabbled behind my partners back and wasa heavy drinker with out anyone really knowing, but the affair was just day in day out sex and cocaine , I lost my job I was depressed and went back to my partner, but secretly done it still ,

With now parted after 15 I’ve gone from huge house money and a life and some one that actually loved me before I fucked it up, too trying to cope in a private renting house and loneliness, even when I’ve done a 15 hr shift I’ll grab it at night , Iam 40 now and just want to be like people in the street , but I try, but not hard enough because being on my own for few hrs I just think it’s ok it’s just one!! Then that turns me anxious as doing it on my own and paranoid so more then booze to calm down Blar Blar you lot all know this,

I miss me I miss my old personality and I have counselling I ve been to groups but I fail every single time x

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