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Reading all these is bringing back the pain. There is hope out there honestly if they want it.
My hubby is now 1 Yr drug free not alcohol. He no linger leaves the home for anything other than work or for us going out. But… and there is one he is now extremely paranoid due to longterm drug and drink use not that he realises.
I did ask his dad for help 5 years ago we had a good relationship and from that it’s now ruined. He no longer speaks to me as my hubby told him I was a liar.
This hurt but I’m a strong bird .
We have to be . I actually write it all down on my phone and I call it my ramblings. I was reading back 4 years the other day and its heart breaking and I wonder why I’ve stayed. I hope that some of you cam find peace and some sort of normality xx
Reading all these is bringing back the pain. There is hope out there honestly if they want it.
My hubby is now 1 Yr drug free not alcohol. He no linger leaves the home for anything other than work or for us going out. But… and there is one he is now extremely paranoid due to longterm drug and drink use not that he realises.
I did ask his dad for help 5 years ago we had a good relationship and from that it’s now ruined. He no longer speaks to me as my hubby told him I was a liar.
This hurt but I’m a strong bird .
We have to be . I actually write it all down on my phone and I call it my ramblings. I was reading back 4 years the other day and its heart breaking and I wonder why I’ve stayed. I hope that some of you cam find peace and some sort of normality xx
Debbie that’s fabulous that you’ve finally turned a corner. My hubby is now 9 months clean from drugs 4 months from smoking but unfortunately still drinks. Thos is very much his new issue . He’s paranoid when drunk thinks people are after him going to kill him and that I know who they are. Just two days ago he said he didn’t love me anymore and we should part. I didn’t respond as it ends up heated . I kinda take the shit. We are due to go away in June for his 50th and he says he’ll leave after that . I call bull on this as I’d spoke to him about his drink. And this is his retaliation. He wants me to scream at him and throw him out . I’ve refused as I know the pattern he tells his family I’m mad and that it’s my fault so he feels better he didn’t do it. I probably should but when he says under his breath thinking I can’t hear that no one live hi. And he doesn’t live him so how can others. ( oh he also reckons hes not got me issues)
I’ve just been catching up on all the posts . @debbie I’m so sorry your going through a very tough time. And Bella you are not thick . We have all gone through the times when we think we are the problem as we are told we are only to find they have abused drugs. I’ve lived through hell for only maybe 5 years but it’s been absolute awful.
My husband has been coke clean since 27th Aug 21 smoke free for 6 weeks and no alcohol free 3 days . Its on step at a time. He’s now so much nicer and he’s back to bring the MaN I love .
I do sti think and have nightmares it will return but for now he’s doing well x if you think there’s hope grab it
I’ve just been catching up on all the posts . @debbie I’m so sorry your going through a very tough time. And Bella you are not thick . We have all gone through the times when we think we are the problem as we are told we are only to find they have abused drugs. I’ve lived through hell for only maybe 5 years but it’s been absolute awful.
My husband has been coke clean since 27th Aug 21 smoke free for 6 weeks and no alcohol free 3 days . Its on step at a time. He’s now so much nicer and he’s back to bring the MaN I love .
I do sti think and have nightmares it will return but for now he’s doing well x if you think there’s hope grab it
We have had a row recently he’d had a drink he said why don’t you give something up that you like like going to the gym . I said sure ill give something up . But lets just look back at i gave up smoking, drinking and eating shite to be better. so now lets see what you are doing and oh yea your giving up on you now fuckoff. lol he shut up ive had more balls in the last year before i would of back down and and said ok ill stop going but hell no am i doing that now. writing it down has helped massively plus being on here and finding out im not crackers
he was i the pub and came in a bit drunk. he does still drink and as much as i don’t like that i find it more acceptable than drugs. I know that’s not right but hey ho. Any way the fact he was a bit drunk is an indication he isn’t using . My hubby never got drunk using he was always to high to finish the drinks he had.
I have been reading over what i write in my phone and how i’ve got through the last few years is beyond me. I write in a secret word doc on my phone what has happened and how its affected us all. Making of a book for amazon lol
Guys I’ve been reading through all these messages and we a have similar stories and insights.
Well my hubby has been clean 3 months and he did it after an ultimatum. He’s had several so God knows how this one has sunk in personally I think he’s had a scare maybe too much whilst out something happened. But … I’m waiting for the fall . I’m on pins if he’s late thinking he’s using. He hasn’t he’s been genuinely working late . Only know tonight no answer in his phone and I don’t know where he is . I’ve automatically gone into he’s using mode .. arrrggghhh will we ever get piece of mind
@sal98 you are brave and strong xx it’s your decision what ever you decide its not easy getting out x I’ve struggled with that thought as I have a,17yr here so it’s not easy to go as where do I go.
A mum leaving her daughter behind it’s just not a thing I’m willing to do yet until she is away at uni.
Since the showdown he hasn’t done it but boy is he grumpy. I’m guessing the abstinence won’t last.
No sal98 he says I have a problem as it’s only a little bit. It’s a little bit 5 nights a week . He’s let me down massively over the last couple of years. He got off it before my sisters wedding so he didn’t come . My dad’s funeral last year he got off it. When I’ve needed him He’s not there I’ve lied about where he is.
My kids are aware as they are 20 17 . They think he’s a loser these are two girls who were daddies girls .
I’m so sad . I did confined in his siater who then rang him and told him what I’d said. None of it a lie but he told her I was deluded .
I told him I thought he was addict last night probably not best idea. He says he’s leaving me in 4 weeks when our eldest goes back to her base . I said why wait f#$k off now . Plus apparently I didn’t dry his clothes on time . I forgot to put them in drier last night send got up sn hour early this morning.
He does nothing in the house nl cooking cleaning . I pay all bills . Even cinders went to a ball
Thank Ash. It has taken loads of courage to join this as I fid not know what to do I have reams of writing as I started to journal the good the bad and ugly when I noticed it all .
It’s created a narcissistic person who is awful lazy rude . But in public the bloody bees knees .
Glad j can look through this and feel there maybe hope . We’ve been together 22 years and the last 3 have been horrendous. We split once for 6 weeks I had no clue where he was for 2 . Then found out he was at his dad’s. His family think I make it up as he told them i did .
I asked his dad for help as he is an alcoholic who has been sober for 30yrs who understood and told me stuff tk look out for . We had a good relationship till that day I told him . My hubby told his died i lied and he’s not spoke to me since
I worker in mh services so I understand some bits .
Sorry to go on but it’s just nice to finally sick this up
Hi I’m new to this group after having the last 3 years of hell feeling I had no where to turn and in constant fear not of physical violence but that my hubby will have a hear attack and i have to cpr.
Is is wrong i sometimes wish a medical episode that he may realise the coke is the issue not me .
Reading the above stories and i now no I’m not the only one .