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Counselling helped me see that hate (or dislike) and love are not relative to one another, it was perfectly okay for me to both love and hate at the same time. At the moment his behaviour is defining him and it is the behaviour which you dont like – its not your son the person u know and love making these decisions but the addict. hes still in there somewhere and you are amazing for not giving up on him x
I can not imagine the heartbreak of seeing your own child going through this and being powerless to stop it. I stopped bailing my husbamd out and left – he lost his job, racked up even more debt and upped his use of drugs to daily. BUT he then reached rock bottom and could see what his life had become. That was what saved him. But like i said i cant image how to do that when its your son, im so sorry you are going through this. I hope u have family and friends who can support YOU. Sorry im not being any help – but i didnt want to read and not write anything.