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Hey Jaynhissay,

Thank you for your kind words and for bravely sharing your story.

I completely understand the kind advice and I know deep down I should do exactly that, but I am racked with guilt every time I think to leave and keep thinking what if something happens to him when I’m not there, perhaps because sadly a close relative of mine died died last year of a drug overdose.

He goes on these binges once or twice a month, but to me it feels like an eternity, he’s going out enjoying himself and blowing money whilst I can’t eat, sleep or think.. It’s very selfish behavior, but I also know it’s because he has deep rooted issues that he is not dealing with and I’m not sure either of us knows how to help him. He is speaking to someone, or so he says, but clearly it’s not helping.

I don’t know what else to suggest to him aside from a separation, at least until he finds his way again. Our toxic relationship does no favours for him and regardless of what he says, I always feel like it’s my fault he does this.

Perhaps I will have the courage to take that step and have that conversation with him after reading these posts and kind words.

Thank you again and I hope you are doing well now x

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Hey,

It’s my first time here and I can definitely relate to you about having trust issues with your husband, especially over drugs.

I too was shocked when my husband continued to lie and with such ease and conviction that I fell for it myself every time.. now I listen to my gut instinct as opposed to him!

In all honesty, it will take a long time for you to rebuild that trust with him, but I definitely think you are already on the right track by seeing a marriage councilor (something I should probably consider myself actually) even if it is a bit of a wait, it’s the right step to take and I truly hope it works out for you and your family x

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Hi Debc,

Thank you so much for your kind and true words, and for taking the time to share your story too, and very happy to hear that your son is doing well!

I actually did read some of the stories before plucking up the courage to share mine and it was shocking how these stories mirror your own feelings and thoughts, goes to show we are not alone in this battle.

You are 100% spot on, It’s really not cheap! in the last 2 weeks my husband has gone on 2 binges, the 2nd one from yesterday where he didn’t return from work, and is still not back home (and as usual won’t answer my calls) and in total spent over £1000 in 2 weeks. It’s sickening to think that’s how much has been blown on drugs, when it could have gone towards a deposit for a car or house, anything else but drugs!

Overall I feel a little better for being able to say how I feel, writing it out forces me to deal with my feelings, which will be a good thing in the end.

Thank you, I did try them earlier but their webpage wouldn’t submit my email, I will try again though.

Thank you so much again and keep well X

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