Dear Debc
Thank you for your kind words. I feel discussing this has really helped me calm down – I’ve taken this really badly.
Yes, he has been doing AA meetings on Zoom every so often and he has been distancing himself from his friends, which I know has upset him.
I notice my partner has alcohol then seeks out the cocaine after his inhibitions have been reduced. Is this the same for your son?
I also agree with you about the mood swings – he would become very aggressive and we were having these wild arguments. He also started to tell me I am boring, and I have no interests other than my career, which I admit keeps me quite busy.
I know as a mother it must be so hard to remove yourself! Despite our 8 years and the home we purchased, I am really contemplating leaving him which is really a hard decision for me to make. But I feel like have no control over his behaviour and it’s up to him, which really gives me anxiety. I also wonder if he will go down this path once we have children.
I also don’t like the person I have been. I’ve not been very supportive because I’ve been hysterical and didn’t even ask him how he feels for a while after he told me. However, I think I am starting to relax so I can help him and talk to him. Before his confession I was often going through his phone and always suspicious, which I hated doing too.
I need to talk to his mother with him or alone about this because all he told her was that he was doing cocaine and drinking every other weekend but now he is fine. She doesn’t know the extent of it. I want her to support him especially if I have to remove myself even if this takes a month or so to get him to a bit more stable/settled so I can live with myself. He hasn’t used cocaine in 3-4 weeks so far. Any tips for talking to her from a mother’s perspective?
Skat
