[slowlysinking]

Thank you so much for writing this. I’ve been scouring the internet for any sort of site I could find people to relate to & validate my concerns & make me feel less crazy. My boyfriend has the same issue & after having some enlightening psychedelic experiences, he was doing great, had less of a craving (still has never considered professional help). His car ended up getting STOLEN, so right after this is when he started using heavily again (although he never completely stopped). He found himself another car (an older car, but a car nonetheless). It happened gradually, but he was communicating with me where he was & wasn’t being irritable or awful toward me like he’d been before. He wasn’t disappearing for days or weeks at a time. The past 2 weeks has been rapidly getting worse & now last night he said he was getting beer with his brother & his brother got home a few hours later, according to social media. After asking his brother’s girlfriend (she’s somewhat aware of our issues) I found that he had left before midnight. It’s now 10:08 in the morning. I feel like I’m going crazy. My mental health has plummeted all over again over the last couple of weeks. He just got paid yesterday. He has blown his half of our rent on coke & gambling before. I’m terrified. I feel so stupid for being here still. I’m trying desperately to save enough money to move out (for months now), but I can’t catch up. I feel so alone. Thank you to anyone who has said anything on this thread. I can’t tell you what a relief it is to physically read other people’s stories & know for a fact that I am not alone.

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