Hi, thanks for your reply. Would not wish this on anyone but nice to know you’re not alone.
The only thing thats holding me is knowing how he is when he is clean and he has been for the past 7 years. He works hard and gives us a very good life, which I could not do. He usually saves money like mad, its me thats the spender!!
This is just tearing me apart, I don’t know whether I am looking for excuses. We have a funeral to attend in Cornwall and he has suggested that we take a few days away there. My daughter says she agrees and that it may help. I suppose on one hand it will give us time away from here to speak. Im just fed up of being lifted up and falling again and again, as you said. You’re right, its the mind games and lying that are the worst. They are so tiring. Everything you try and accomplish seems to take so much energy.
My kids really do not want to leave here. I think eventually if I stay strong he will have to face up to things and leave if he does not get clean. Saying that this morning he has missed his appointment with his dr at the drug service. Im not taking control of any of this, after all its not me who needs to.
Im glad for you that this has worked out for the best for you. I think it would have been easier if my kids were little, but i have a teenager who loves all his gadgets and never leaves his bedroom as he’s attached to his xbox and laptop, and my daughter is nearly 18 in 2 weeks. She is very supportive, but she also has her own life set up and i don’t want to disrupt any of that in the middle of her studies and plans to go to university.
Im sure we will be ok. something has to change eventually. I will have to be stronger. I know I can manage on my own, its not that that scares me. If anything he will have to leave.
Thanks again for reading. Nice to have someone to air off too! all the best to you and your kids xx
