[soph]

Aww bless her, you could’ve done with the chill out away to. Ye I know what you mean about the weekend plus we have this added storm over us because I’ve said to go and he won’t. He hasn’t drank though for over a week so far

[soph]

Not too bad, he said he’s not gonna leave though x

[soph]

I’d suggest writing things down like a diary and somewhere where he can’t see it because you can look back on everything then and will build you up to seeing how bad the situation is. I wish I’d done this as mind blanks most that’s happened then something triggers a memory. It’s easy to forget when they have the sober nice times. I used to have this all the time when I went out, he’d be off with me, not talk, make bad comments about friends, not any compliments, just make me feel s*itty for going out…guess what it’s been years since I’ve gone to a pub with mates. Can’t even go out with him as he drinks and hates the world.

Did you end up going out?

[soph]

This is what I’m worried about to but my healths been affected so much with the stress. Tbh he’ll probably still be here this time next year, the guilt takes over you know even though we’re not responsible for their choices x

[soph]

Thankyou and you to, remember its never too late to start over x

[soph]

Aw bless them, it’s a shame they have to see their Dad that way. The boys have mixed feelings, they are used to it so have hardened to how he is which is sad as they still love him because they are conditioned to as they get the good and bad. I do worry that theyll accept this behaviour from partners when their older. He clashes with my eldest though where he will call him names and he’s very shouty then there’s days where he’s nice and he’s then confused. All the more why I’ve plucked up the courage to leave soon (I hope anyway) harder as hes now about a week not drunk and its a waiting game for me don’t know whats worse. I thought the kids would be a reason to fight the drink but like you say it takes a hold. Thankyou, it defo does help to talk.

[soph]

Honestly anytime, I’m hear to listen hun ????

[soph]

That’s crazy, I honestly thought I was the only one. Ye it’s what makes it hard to leave because you see the ‘good side’ I’ve been reading up on the cycle of abuse and it relates to this. Even if you don’t feel abused, it may help you make sense of things. He’s totally acted like I didn’t say to leave and is being overly nice like I said and doing more with the kids etc as normal. This is when I usually relent and then he’s drinking within days but I need to say again tomorrow, makes me cringe to even tell him

[soph]

Ye same here, its like our lives don’t count. I get the attitude from him that I have to just suck it up as ‘he’s not hurting anyone’. I think of myself and think it would be like me getting drunk every night and my kids and him would have to sit there watching, I could never do that to someone.

I’m sorry to hear its 11 weeks in a row, I hate that feeling of dread knowing its another day of drinking. Does he stop then for periods of time? I asked mine to move out after a horrendous few months of emotionally abusive behaviour and drinking and he’s blanked me and instead stayed in the bedroom for 2 days then not drank for 3 days and doing housework. It’s always on a cycle like this and actually makes me angry that he stops and starts when he wants. The longest is a week

[soph]

It’s bittersweet because it’s a comfort to hear others know what it feels like but at the same time awful there’s so many of us living our lives this way. There’s so many things that’s happened, I feel selfish and guilty about when I do kick him out but I feel the same about my kids to. I know addiction is hard to conquer but it’s heartbreaking when he can go days without it but then drink for weeks in a row and when he’s quit for a few weeks, that’s been hell to. I think there’s only so much we can take in the end. Hope your OK to.

[soph]

Thankyou, sorry you have to go through it to. Hard ain’t it, especially when can’t even go to the cinema as he’s back and forth the bar throughout the film grabbing a pint. Dont help with rent being sky high now and I think where would he go. Take care to and hope things get better for you x

[soph]

Wow your amazing to be so supportiv, even losing the house. I sincerely hope he gets better and appreciates you. Remember we only get one life and you deserve to have your own happy life to, this is something I’m trying to get my head around after the past 5 years he’s been drinking

[soph]

Yes that’s how I can tell to but when I confront him he says how dare I say he’s had a drink or he will say he’s only had 2 bottles. Wish I could get up and leave. Fingers crossed for you that it works for him going to the clinic, he’s so lucky your standing by him. How long has he been drinking for?

[soph]

It’s awful when they say they’ve quit but your instincts say otherwise. Hope he does get sober one day, the amount of times mine have said he’s quit then I’ve found them I know that heart sunken feeling. Stay strong

[soph]

I can relate to this feeling, my partner is the exact same and it’s draining me. My blood pressure went up to 250, I’m now on medication for life, I feel like everything revolves around drinking. I know I’m not much help but the doc did say until they hit rock bottom and want to help themselves there’s nothing we can do. Is there any chance she can maybe move out?

[Author]

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