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That’s amazing! Look how long you can go without any. I’d only take the next dose when you absolutely can’t take it no more. It’s been awful today and I’ve got no energy and that feeling of weighing 20 stone more than what I am. I’ve already had 6 today which means I’ll now have to drop a day of tablets somewhere to make sure I have enough. I will stick to 4 tomorrow. It’s hard to attempt to taper when you have to carry on with life, if only you could freeze time until you feel better lol. There is a detox support group not far from me but I can’t go because I’d have to come up with a story to tell my mum so she could look after my daughter I have been thinking about what I could say but I can’t come up with anything!
Yes that’s the way to think! You’ve got this. I’m working later today and that will be the real test and that’s when I find I take more tablets. My job is quite physical and the tablets would give me that get up and go attitude but even if I feel crap I will be sticking to my plan. I’m just worried about dropping from 4 to 3. I’m also worried about only having 1 in the morning instead of 2. I really think you should time how long you can go before taking any because it does sound like you can go a good few hours in between doses. I set a timer when I take the first 2 and then I’ll put a lap on so I know exactly how long I’ve gone before taking the next 1. I find it helps and it makes you feel proud because you’ve gone so long. Saying all these encouraging words to you is helping me so thank you for responding to my messages. I worry about that too! But I’m just praying and hoping that when I give up everything will be ok. My goal today is to only take 4 and I’m determined to stick at it. What’s your goal for the total amount of tablets for the day?
I done really well Monday I only had 4 tablets and I felt fantastic and then Tuesday I just felt like crap so I ended up taking more. Today I’ve only had 4 and I don’t care how bad I feel tomorrow I’m determined to have a good day like today. When I first started they’d make me feel and be sick but that doesn’t happen anymore. I take 30mg of dihydrocodiene and I know they can cause damage to your kidneys which is worrying me terrible. I can’t go to my doctor because I shouldn’t of been taking them to start with. I started stealing them from my mum and then buying them so I can’t see them being sympathetic with me. I know I can do this and I will
I get the guilt if I’ve taken loads and it also takes me ages to fall asleep because I worry about everything. You need to stay positive and I think that’s key to kicking the addiction. Once you’ve done the first day like I have today you’ll feel so proud and determined to do it the next day. This addiction we have can’t keep destroying our lives because if we keep this up we will end up losing everything and all we’ll be left with is the tablets. That’s another thing I keep thinking about loosing my daughter and that’s what is giving me that kick I need to do something about it. You will do better tomorrow! Keep saying that to yourself. Remember how strong you were yesterday and how long you went between doses and you can do this!
When would you say it gets the worst? I’ve got a plan to do a week of 4 a day and I’ll drop 1 a week until I get to 1 but will you still get bad withdrawals after you’ve taken the last one or are they mild?
I feel guilty for being a bitch to my dad now and back then I thought it was as simple as just stopping addiction but it’s not. He even went cold turkey and after a fit he was told he couldn’t give up by himself because he could die and that’s why we both need to do it now before it’s too late and we can’t do it by ourselves. I know set backs are disappointing but you will do it and sometimes set backs are all part of giving up. Try not to be hard on yourself and just think about the new day tomorrow. I’m still at 3 tablets but I’ll definitely need 1 more. You will do better tomorrow you will you will just keep a positive mind. Positive mind positive actions. I also keep telling myself it’s tough I haven’t got a choice but to stick to plan because I physically can not get my hands on anymore. I think you’re stronger than you think because look how long you went between doses yesterday, you can do this!!
If I’m wishing for anything it’s that I could go back in time and go to the doctors for my headaches instead of self medicating with dihydrocodiene. I don’t know why I haven’t been able to do it for my daughter because that should be enough to stop but it hasn’t been but I guess that’s what addiction does. I also know that I definitely want another baby but until I stop taking them I can’t but not even that has been enough. I’d be £470 a month better off if I’d never taken them but I’m now paying back a loan I had to pay my last credit card off and the credit card I’ve run up because of buying them. You’re not almost as bad because you’re taking the step to get rid of the addiction so you’re better and we will do this. I wish I could go cold turkey but I’m not that strong and I’ve tried it before and it was torture physically and mentally. If you feel strong and determined enough try going cold turkey and see how you manage. I went down to 4 a day a few months ago but where I went wrong was I was scared to drop anymore because of the withdrawals and went back to my usual 10-12 a day. I slept fine the last time I done it but when I had 4 on Monday it was a crap nights sleep. I’ve now got calms and Nytol to see if they help tonight. Today I lasted 6 hours and I’ve just taken 1 more and I’ve got 1 left before bed but I might just see if I can manage 3 and see what happens. How are you getting on today?
It’s been 2 hours since I took 2 and I’m starting to feel hot and cold but no sweats yet. I’ll take 1 more at about 3 then I’ll have 1 before bed. I don’t think that would be enough, I read that dropping 1 tablet a week will reduce the withdrawals. I’m starting at 4 this week then 3 and so on but I’ve only got enough so when I’m on 1 a day there’s only enough to do that for 3 days and not a week but I’ll deal with that when I come to it. That’s amazing to have gone that long without taking any so maybe you’ll manage with just the 24 maybe try going as long as possible before you can’t take the withdrawals and then take some and keep doing that. The longest I’ve done is over 12 hours and that’s only because I took 2 at 3pm and then went to bed at 9pm but I did wake up early hours with withdrawals. This is why I’m so annoyed I have an addiction! I’ve seen what it does to a person and I’ve seen how it destroys family and relationships. My mum was always worried I’d end up with an addiction because she thinks it’s hereditary but little does she know that she was right to worry.
This will be it! Because we will stop doing this! I done a pros and cons list and I had 1 pro and that was the way they make you feel and there was point after point of cons. We have to keep telling ourselves that we haven’t got a choice but to stick to it because we only have enough tablets to do our taper. I only work 3 days a week so I’m going to keep busy with housework and my daughter. I take dihydrocodiene and a box of tablets with delivery cost me £55 and I’ve been buying them for about 2 years and I used to secretly steal them from my mum until she started noticing how quick they were going which is why I had to buy them. I’ve written out how many to take each day then I’ll know exactly where I am. We can do this!
That’s exactly what I’ve been telling myself the last 3 years! I totally understand you. I know full well I can manage off 4 tablets a day and I done it on Monday I took 2 when I woke up and I put a timer on my phone and I lasted 6 hours before taking 2 more but that night was a really bad nights sleep and I woke up restless and I couldn’t stay still. I’m going to buy Nytol to see if it helps keep me asleep. Tuesday and today I’ve taken 10 tablets. I have 66 tablets left and there’s absolutely no way I can get my hands on anymore so it’s a mix between I want to stop, I have to stop and I haven’t got a choice but to stop. I’ve made a taper plan and if I keep at it I should be down to 1 tablet a day by the beginning of July. I think I’ve mastered what to do ???? on Monday I got up had the tablets and straight after breakfast I kept busy by getting myself ready then taking my daughter to nursery and I didn’t seem to crave anymore tablets like I usually do (I normally crave more about an hour after the first 2) but on Tuesday I took the tablets and I just chilled out so keeping busy is definitely the best way to keep the cravings away. The withdrawals are really worrying me, I can deal with the hot and cold sweats but it’s the feeling of I can’t be bothered to do anything. The only way I can describe it is I feel as if I’m about 20 stone heavier and I physically struggle to walk up the stairs because of the aches which is worrying because I’m only 28. The restlessness is awful as well but I’m thinking maybe calms will help so I’ll be buying them tomorrow along with Nytol. What we both need to think about is if we don’t stop now it will end up killing us some way. We could overdose because the amounts we’re taking are no longer satisfying or our kidneys will be damaged. We can both do this! I keep repeating in my head that I don’t care how I feel tomorrow I will only take 4! My plan for tomorrow is to take 2 in the morning, 1 after 6 hours and then 1 just before bed. I really don’t know why I’ve let it get this far! I’ve been around addiction my entire life up until my Dad passed 10 days before my 21st Birthday (he was an alcoholic) I’ve seen what addiction does to a family and now I’ve got myself in that exact position my dad was in. I would really appreciate it if we could message back and for on here as a support to each other and we’ll beat it together.
I’m here to chat? I’m going through exactly the same and I’m trying my best to get clean. I have no one to talk to because I’m so embarrassed and annoyed I’ve got myself in this mess xx