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Thank you Icarus Trust and Helenjh for your comments.
Whilst I dont feel ready or brave enough to speak with a counsellor at the Trust I know this could help me try to understand my daughters addiction. I will make that call one day…x
You are so right Helenjh that it is an illness and seeing first hand how it consumes the person is hard to watch and the cause of my despair.
So sorry to hear about your son and I admit to being shocked that after all he went through the addiction still took hold again.
I wrote this the day after I had collected my daughter from prison, hoping this was the wake up call for her to change but finding out that within 24 hrs she was using again, not sure she ever stopped.
She’s now back in prison and as much as I am angry and upset with her, that part of me deep down inside hopes that maybe this is the turning point for her and i find myself writing to her offering love and support…because she’s my daughter. ..xHi I feel like I am reading about myself here only I am at the beginning of this horrendous journey. My beautiful daughter has turned into a manipulative, selfish person who I no longer recognise due to the last 5 years of drug and alcohol abuse. The last 10 months her family and lots of support workers have tried to help her get her first born daughter (our granddaughter) back home with her but she has relapsed fully losing everything around her and now living with the latest drug addict boyfriend. I need to move on with my life now as it’s taken a toll on my health, marriage and relationships with my 2 other children. But the guilt is hard to deal with and the realisation that only my daughter can change. ..I can’t do it for her. Thank you for sharing your experience. ..even if for the fact I don’t feel as if I am the only parent in the world going through this.