[stephaniiie]

Yes he wants me back and to see his children. He texts me every day telling me how much he misses us and he’s fighting to get better.

He’s to start suboxone tomorrow. You have to do a drug test before hand and if it’s dirty you will be rejected the treatment

It’s a very expensive drug and has very strict criteria so if the person is till messing around the doctor won’t waste their time to help the person.

If you use while on suboxone apparently you will be hospitalised,

The tablet will be Daily in the local chemist under the supervision of the pharmacist

At the right dose the tablet shouldn’t make you doze off or unable to function.

People who take this medicine can continue to live normal functional lives and work

So tomorrow il know if he has been clean since he left. Action speaks louder than words.

He rings the children every evening at 6pm but I won’t talk on the phone to him and I told him when he’s stable and has a clean drug test he can see the children

[stephaniiie]

The day I told him to leave is the same day he realised his family knew so it was a major shock for him. Of course after going to the doctors for “help” he still went off and smoked heroin in town before coming home and waiting for me to come in and forget about it all

After his little fix and plenty of family members and I going mad on the phone to him he packed a “weekend bag” obviously high off the drug and left.

All his stuff is still here. He must think he’s gone for a week or too.

That shit completely changes a person and alters their complete mindset, to be honest it actually makes them so stupid.

Well it makes one numb of all functions and feelings.

Withdrawals take two weeks and I want him to feel the pain of it as he has tortured his children and I for months

I sound very harsh and inconsiderate now but there will be a time when you just have enough

A time will come when you choose your own self worth and the protection of your children over love

[stephaniiie]

On the Tuesday and by Friday I kicked him out

[stephaniiie]

Just read the part where your husband will try undermine you. Mine is the same, that’s why when I told him to leave it was over the phone. I knew if he was standing in front of me u would be powerless, he’s a big man and I’m petit so at times I can be scared of him.

I brought the direction of our children’s welfare into it and told him they didn’t deserve their childhood to be robbed over his weak selfish ways.

His family were also ringing him that day and he had it from every angle

The majority of his stuff is still in the house, he probably thinks he’s going to swing back in after his treatment starts.

He’s starting suboxone on Tuesday, then he is to go into residential care.

I think people adjust to change over time so do t be afraid of telling others

[stephaniiie]

His family we’re devasted to be honest and so were mine but it was a huge weight off my shoulders.

He had an appointment with the doctor on the Friday 14th and told me from there they doctor told him to continue using until treatment commenced.

I was in work when I received the call. I broke down and told him to leave

He rang me over 40 times I wouldn’t answer

I finished work and went to collect my three children

I couldn’t stop crying and refused to answer his calls

In the end I text to tell him for the love and respect of our children to be gone before I arrived home.

I didn’t want to make a big sense and call to guards

I didn’t want the children to witness it

So he left. The children think he’s unwell and gone to the “doctors house”

He’s in his dads, who took him in out of guilt (possible overdose, suicidal)

He was actually shocked I kept to my word, I have given him too many chances in the past for other issues

I knew my marraige was over when I found the tinfoil used to smoke the heroin, I was just in denial and didn’t want to face my marraige had failed and he had choose that way of life.

I was afraid to tell everyone but felt people already knew and I was associated with it.

I kept his secret while trying to help him

Addicts can be very cunning and manipulative

He’s gone a week, I let him ring the children every evening at 6pm

We have communicated via text but he has not heard my voice

It’s hard, I have my weak moments where I just want him beside me, it’s like a bad dream at times but I’m generally too busy with the children and cleaning up the mess he made, his addiction neatly cost us our house and we’re in massive arrears,

Trying to organize everything for school as well

It’s a hard decision but I’m happy I made it.

I wish you luck on whatever you decide x

[stephaniiie]

I would completely detach myself from him. If he is pleased with your help your probably enabling him

My husband smoked heroin, I found out this summer. We have three children.

He asked for help and I did help him. But in the process I forgot about my own well being and suffered.

My children suffered. My focal point was on my husband

I felt like I was on constant surveillance.

Couldn’t sleep, I was emotional exhausted

He continued to use and spent our income on the drug

So I decided to leave him.

Addiction destroys everything in its path and the best form of loving support is detachment

It’s been a week since he is gone

He know has to fight for his family back, they only thing that is seperating us is heroin

You must never let alone devalue your worth. You will become a shadow of yourself

Think of your unborn child and your future. You must be in good health to look after your child

It’s a very hard decision to separate but I solely did it to safe guard my children and possibly safe his life in the process

Be strong, don’t be afraid of others reactions. You cannot lead your life by following others values and norms

My advice to you would be to detach yourself while supporting him from afar, take time to heal and focus on your pregnancy

Good luck

[stephaniiie]

Also I had told all this family and mine against his wishes and found it helped me. He was furious, but the more people that know the easier it is to help the person

[stephaniiie]

Hi

I can feel your hurt in your message

I was in a similar situation. I found my husband was using heroin. We have three children

In May while recovering myself from menegitis I found methadone, a lot of empty bottles. I confronted him and at the time he asked for help. Told me he was mixing it with diazepam to give the same high as heroin.

I asked him did he do herion, he denied and I asked was there any drug debts owed m. He denied.

I choose to help him as he had asked and I am married to him

It was hard, but in face I was enabling him. He became too complacent that he had a roof over his head and access to food ect

I taught he was stable and clean until mid July when a large amount of income went missing. While looking for the money I came across all the drug paraphernalia.

I was furious and confronted him once again

He redirected all the blame onto me, said that was from months ago and he agreeded to a drug test to prove his innocence

Addicts are very cunning and manipulative.

At the time of the drug test he failed to give urine and the following day all our income was spent on drug debts again

He seeked help from the doctors but it was “all for me” not generally for himself

I soon realised I can’t fix him, only he has choose to change his life and fix himself.

He use to smoke at night while we were all asleep but the last week he brazenly smoke trough out the day.

It was so distressing looking at him, obviously completely out of it and telling me he only took dizapam.

So I made a hard decision to completely detach myself and safe guard my children

I told him to leave.

He never taught I would follow trough on my word but I did

I have gave him so many chances and he completely disrespected me

It’s wasn’t an easy decision, I didn’t want my marraige to fail, I was in denial for quiet along time but he now has to fight for his family back as I won’t let the children see him until he’s stable and clean.

He is staying in with his father and hasn’t left the room in 6 days. The last time he used was Friday 14th

My decision was the best choice I have made. He know realise he has lost everything over his addiction and it’s up to him now solely to address his problem and they underlying issues that lead him that way

I told him I’m continuing my life without him and if he wants to reunite as a family he must stand up and be a good husband and father and take responsibility for his role in life and stop with all the self pity and blaming everyone else for his own faults

I am enjoying my time with my children, I took two weeks off work until school starts

I feel I can breath, I no longer feel suffocated.

I’m taking this time to heal and rebuild my relationship with the children.

Think of your own wellbeing, addiction destroys everything in its path and getting out of the way is the strongest form of detachment support you can show.

Be strong x

[stephaniiie]

Thank you

My emotions are very unstable at the moment, so I really appreciate your message

Il take into consideration the information you have provided me with.

Thank you

[stephaniiie]

Thank you very much for your kind message

It really does help.

Today was very hard but I felt The only way to help him was to leave him.

To show him the drug has took everything from him.

It can go either way, anger and resentment, denial of addiction and bury himself deeper into the mess he created or he can wake up and fight for his life and return to the man he once was.

I don’t know what path he will choose. Time will tell.

I have learned not to look back In anger or forward in fear but around us in awerness

[stephaniiie]

Thank you all for your reply’s. Very kind.

I have realised addiction cannot be cured.

It can be managed and learned to live with, like diabetes or someone with a heart condition.

A minority of people with addictions choose to live with a substitute alternative and the other choose to change their lives completely.

I left my husband today. It was the hardest choice I had to make. My three children think he’s gone to the doctor house to get better.

I felt I had no other choice.

His heroin addiction has suffocated me.

He is to start the suboxone treatment in two weeks but apparently the doctor said to “continue using up to 36hrs prior to treatment”

No doctor would say that. Knowing three children where at home.

Expecting me to find his habit and watch him decay in front of me and my children.

So I told him to leave.

Now he has to fight for his marraige and children

The balls in his court

[stephaniiie]

Hi

I feel your hurt in your message

I think you were very brave to end the relationship.

You say you gave him many chance and set boundaries and he didn’t abide by any.

He obviously needs is own time alone to reflect on his erratic behavior and life choices.

People can be in denial of their addictions and when confronted always redirect the blame of their actions onto others

You are a mother of three children. (I am the same)

My advice to you would be to take this time to self heal, focus on your own mental wellbeing and most of all on your children.

Don’t look back in anger or forward in fear but around us in awareness!!

We all want the best intentions for our loved ones. My husband is a heroin addict and I have gave him a month to stabilise or il continue my life without him

Life is too short to be wasted.

Know your worth and don’t let any person devalue your worth.

Stay strong x

[stephaniiie]

Do you mind me asking what brought for you to this site? What’s your story

[stephaniiie]

The change of routine is a most. Your have good willpower to hand over your phone and car keys when your problem is at its most tempting.

I asked me husband to delete all contacts on his phone and social media associated with drugs.

Of course he agreeded but at the end I had to do it.

I also found the name and number of the dealer hidden in his press. That was burnt.

I am slightly optimistic about his recover as I left after he went into the doctors. I went for a walk with my three children and visited my mam.

I hadn’t heard from him and his phone was “off”.

I proceeded to walk out home and my mother rang me, said he was just at the door and his phone had went dead.

I actually was actually shocked.

I waited for him where I was and we continued to walk home together.

He didn’t talk much, well it is hard to talk about much with children around.

He knows I’m at a major cross road in my life now. Sometimes I think he takes my kindness as a weakness.

His own father was a very aggressive alcoholics. Which ended in his mother and sister running away in the middle of the night.

He was left there with his older brother and the house decayed as his dad drank every day.

It was after his niece (first grandchild) who’s now 16 when his dad gave up the drink.

His dad spent years of drinking and lost everything.

I think my husband maybe is reflecting on his own childhood and loosing his mother and sister, been dragged up by an alcoholic father

He know has me and the children, a family of his own. Don’t let history repeat itself

[stephaniiie]

Thank you for your message.

Today was actually the first step of his recovery journey.

He had the appointment with the doctor. I watched him walk in and left.

He was there for an hour or so.

He told me the doctor is to start him on a methadone programme on Friday and for bloods to be done.

I was slightly confused as why he wasn’t treated right away. My initial taught was it to allow a small time period to give the doctor more clarity, to see if he truly wants to stop?

To analysis is coping skills?

I don’t particularly know.

He is very remorseful at present and I’m completely drained.

I relfect back on my marraige and my life before him. We’re both 30 and been together 6 years with three children.

I suffer with serve anxiety and have had post natal depression. I also am recovering from an eating disorder.

I’m 5ft 3 and weighed 7stone at my lightest. I have gained a stone Over the past year.

He supported me trough it all. He always had my back.

Looking back at my own journey I found the love of my children healed me and the love of my husband.

I found peace in exercise, walking around miles a day. I found solitude.

Now this is his journey and il be in the background.

I suspose time will tell when and if he reaches the other side

I pray for my children that he sees the destruction of his behavior and realises he has a loving wife and family

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