[stephaniiie]

Thank you very much for your message.

It actually made me cry. I have been so angry and hurt that I completely lost track of time.

My focal point was on my husband and my want for him to recover.

I need to detach myself a little while supporting him from afar.

My three children are my first priority.

After much contemplation I have realised this is his journey. I cannot hold his hand and escort him to doctors / meetings ect

He needs to make the calls to the doctors, admit his problem and ask for help. Not use me as an intermediate.

I have my own roadmap laid out for my children and I. We both want the same goal so hopefully we will both reunite at the end of the road.

I have gave him an ultimatum and now it’s up to him to abide by it or il continue my life without him.

Personally I think we all have our own demons in life, it’s our copeing skills that help us overpower them.

[stephaniiie]

Thank you for your reply. I really am considering leaving him. In May when I found the methadone bottles, he said he wanted help and loved me and the children. I found the month of May so hard. I was on constant surveillance.

He was described Dizepiam TDS and sleeping tablets to help with the withdrawals. He started to eat again and regain the weight. We started to talk again and Enjoy each other’s company.

Until last week when everything was confirmed to me he was actually using.

He tells me he wants to quit and it’s hard, that he’s been doing it over two years yet it’s only since early this year I noticed a dramatic change in him.

I was admitted to hospital late March with menegitis. I spent two weeks in isolation while he minded or children at home and did heroin and every night. I cannot forgive him for that. My children were neglected and my eldest son is traumatised. He actually asked me could be go live with my sister.

I choose to stay with him and support him in May, it was one of the hardest decision I ever made.

I believe in our marriage and I had made my vows.

I felt I couldn’t turn my back on him when he needed me the most. I didn’t want to walk by him on the street 6 months later completely strung out and eventually die from the drug or sucide.

I felt I couldn’t live with that on my consciousnesses.

The Counceller told me the next 5 days are going to be extremely hard while the doctor adjust him onto a methadone programme.

I have been researching and the drug and feel I need to be fully educated on it to understand the severity of it.

I just want the man I married back

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