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Thank you everyone for your support.
I spent yesterday talking to family and had time with my dogs, thinking and processing my thoughts.
I have been withdrawn from my hubby and he spent yesterday sulking!
Today, he has messaged and screen shot a post to a counselling service, asking for help, which he explained that his relationship with alcohol is impacting on our marriage…. He told me that he doesn’t want to loose me. He doesn’t understand his relationship and dependency and wants to understand it, so he can be in control and not the addiction.
Does this make sense? It makes sense to me, I just hope he remains committed!
PS I’m sorry to hear about your baby loss. I’m not sure you ever recover from that grief.
Our stories sound similar.. I used to be a party girl and when we got together 8 years ago, we were both post divorce and wanted liberation & fun. That came to sudden halt when he was diagnosed with cancer and he moved in. For the next 2 years I nursed him back to health, supported his kids and did my best to hold down a job. It was relentless but we got through it.
The trouble is he just doesn’t care how his drinking makes me & other people feel!
I’ve told his brother today, who’s not really surprised by my message. I’m over hiding his dirty secret!
Thanks WonderWoman.
Sleep deprivation is torturous… I’ve moved into the spare room.. I’ve also had enough of his snoring, alcoholic breath and then the letchery! My hubby is also overweight… beer gut and the site of him is pathetic. He’s a cancer survivor, which makes me dislike him even more.
Last night we were watching A star is born, I wondered if he could see the damage of the drinking on their relationship but no, as he merrily downed his brandy, after the beer and wine, it resulted in an argument , when his constant interruptions and need for attention made me flip! I know I shouldn’t have retaliated as it fuelled another argument and I told him to F*** off…. all over his irritating behaviour and chocolate!
Sorry, just had to get that off my chest, yes I did pay, but this morning , I have found an Al Anon group in the nearby city and I know someone who is part of the group, so I think I will try and go to one of their meetings and see how it runs and if I can get the support I need. Otherwise, it will be the paid support. ????
Morning.. not sure how old this post is, but reading both your stories has made me feel less alone.
Both of your experiences are the same as mine and I appreciate the advice of local, groups to talk to.
I need to decide what to do next and how much to tell him of my intentions. I have moved into the spare room, as I cannot allow him to think that being intimate is a possibility.. I cannot give that part of myself anymore. I plan to set this room up as mine as we journey through the war zone of separation.
Morning… all of your stories resonate with my life.. my hubby is amazing around the house, cooking cleaning and shopping, as I work full time, he works from home, so he gets to do things…. BUT … that’s part of his game, his manipulation… see how good I am, see how much I help you…. so because he does “ my washing” ( our washing) he appears to be fabulous and I’m being ungrateful, when I don’t tolerate his.. “ I deserve a beer after doing all that housework”… don’t fall for it, it’s part of their addictive personality.. that’s the sad thing… they are so controlling we don’t see it.
I saw a counsellor this week and I know my options, I just need to prepare myself for the on slaughter of his abuse.. ????