[tans21]

I have been with my boyfriend for about 4.5 years on and off. We met online and it took him a long time to come off dating sites. I’ve never done drugs, never interested me at all. It took me a while to work out that cocaine was his choice alongside porn and sending messages to escorts etc. He goes through stages where he stays off it but usually only when he is overseas working. I know all the signs now, staying awake all night, manic behaviour and the porn. We don’t live together. He makes promises all the time that he needs to grow up and stop doing it and then he’s back on it again. I check his history on his computer and we have huge arguments about what he is looking at and interacting with. He doesn’t think he needs to see a counsellor as he thinks he can stop anytime. I ask myself why I am still with him, yes I love him and know he has lots of issues. I keep making excuses saying it’s an addiction. Our sex life has come to a grinding halt from his choice, he says his sex drive has dropped yet he will spend hours and hours on porn. When do I give up?

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