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Hi I no how hard it is keeping everything from family my family and my husbands family would disown him to and if I leave or put him out he will have nothing or no1 he will be found dead

My kids are grown up now are baby is 18 but no matter what age they are as a mother we still worry about them so next week my kids will be of on holiday together I think this is a good idea for them to have some fun and forget family life at the moment as it’s hard for them to watch they no what there father is doing and it’s not right they should watch him change every day

And hopefully them going on holiday will give me and my husband a chance to talk or even try to get close I’m not sure what will happen when the kids are away but hopefully some good will come out of it for them I wish you luck and hopefully you get your life back soon it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with and I feel all alone

If all hits the fan at least I can say I done all I could xx

[team]

Thank you very much I will try do do anything I can to sort my marriage out and do what I can to help my husband xx

[team]

I feel so horrible putting my life on here and all you lovely people reply trying to help when you have been through so much your selfs

I have to keep my head up and try to make a decision that’s right for me I no I won’t make it anytime soon as but I no it’s not gonna be another 7 years of unhappiness for me I can’t live this way much longer

I thank yous all so much for listening and not judging me thank you all so much x

[team]

I appreciate your reply to me you make so much sense I can feel the hurt you have been through and to get through it with little babies you are a very strong woman and deserve all the happiness in the world

No one knows my husband is taking drugs he says he would be ashamed to face people if they knew and begged me not to tell anyone I have not told anyone as of yet but I did say to him a few nights ago if he don’t stop I can’t keep his secret any longer hopefully he heard me and stops

I hope your husband sees what a wonderful wife he has and stays clean and treats you like a queen for the rest of your life you deserve it

Everyone has a story and none of the is much different I have read so much and think this story is my life cocaine is the devil it don’t only take the person using it takes every one that loves them to x

[team]

It really is the unknown that’s scary I think your amazing for helping yourself

Putting the bins out was the only job my husband had to do at home and now I find I’m doing it because he can’t be bothered to move out of his chair I will have to try to be more stronger than I am

If one of us leave I just have that feeling he will not stop till he dies and I think that very thought is making me weak and won’t let me do the right thing

Hope you don’t mind me asking but how long was yous apart before your husband got clean

My husband is not violent in any way I think if he was that would change me very fast

But he is spiteful in the things he says

He swore that i die with cancer he would never do drugs again 13 days later he was full swing back on it he has swore on are sons grave he lied the things he swears on hurt terrible the cancer one hurt because I have my dad and my only brother fighting cancer and my sons grave was just heartbreaking to hear the more I say don’t swear the more he dose

I wish I could have noticed the signs years ago but but I didn’t I don’t no if that’s because I have never known anyone on drugs or I just never thought my husband would ever do anything like that he has never been a drinker if he has a beer he never finishes it he just don’t like alcohol thank god thank you very much xx

[team]

It feels so wrong doing all the things I’m doing I just feel if I do nothing I’m falling my family and my husband

It’s the worry of what’s next I think that is hurting so much the last thing I want to do is find him dead

I no he don’t care what way I feel I no that’s because of the drug I just can’t help but take it to heart

I to am on antidepressants and have been for a long time now I just feel lost and lonely I’m not happy and I’m scared to feel any happiness just to be floored again and again it’s hard thank you very much x

[team]

I don’t want to leave my husband but I don’t want to live this way anymore I don’t think I can do it much longer I have told him I’ll leave all he ever says is he will stop but he don’t

My dad was in hospital for weeks he has a life saving opp at Christmas we nearly lost my dad he did not in anyway support me my family all had there partners with them waiting for news while I sat on my own he did not even call to see if my dad made it or not the opp took over 12 hours thank god my dad made it but I just wanted someone well my husband to be there for me but he wasn’t

I feel like I’m beginning to hate the person he is

I no you are totally right it’s time to get a grip of my life my problem is where do I start what do I do next have never been on my own my perants looked after me all my life till age of 17 when I got married 29 years on and I’m now stuck and hate my life well I don’t have a life anymore thank you for reply just sending the messages I done is making things look so different as I’ve never had anyone to talk to x

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My life is at a stand still I don’t go out with friends or family I’m at home if I’m not at work I cannot do anything with out the worry of what he is doing if he goes for a shower I’m at the door listening what’s going on I hate the person I’ve turned into I no I have to change but I’m so lost right now thanks for reply and advice x

[team]

I can’t believe how many families are going through the same thing I feel for you all and hope everyone’s life gets better ASAP

It’s the lies that’s killing me

I actually feel like I’m living with a stranger that thinks I just like to moan

My husband has told me more than once I just like the attention of him being on cocaine

I definitely don’t get attention from him or anyone because no1 other than me knows he is addicted to drugs I do the strip tests on him regularly and he fails all the time and if he gets a clean test he says see you can trust me he has had about 6 clean tests and more than 60 not clean

I try talking to him he won’t talk he says I can’t be bothered with the arguments I’ve asked why he started taking drugs he said he don’t no must be temptation he never gives me a straight answer to anything I ask

I’ve been told cocaine and cheating comes hand in hand I’ve asked him has he cheated he said no so I asked him to do a lie detector he refused so I said I can’t stay with you until I no the truth he said he will do one now I’m scared of what I might find out from it he’s hurt me so much it’s making me ill he was once a brilliant husband and father and now to make everything worse we have 3 beautiful grandchildren but they have never seen the real him heart breaking to think this is how it’s all turned out

God bless all you beautiful people

[team]

Hi I’ve been with my husband 29 years we got married at the age of 17 he was 18 we had are first baby straight away unfortunately he was born sleeping my husband looked after me better than anybody could we went on to have 4 daughters after and we both adore are girls and go to are sons grave lots

7 years ago my husband started using cocaine I didn’t find this out until 6 months ago I had a feeling but didn’t believe it was drugs that was making him annoying he would act childish spiteful didn’t do anything with any of the family days he wouldn’t eat nights he didn’t sleep he done everything he could to stay out of are way if I was indoors he would be out if I said let’s go for a meal he would make up excuses to why he can’t go

I really thought he had depression it took about 2 years for me to get him to see his gp he did come home with antidepressants but after months there was no change

My daughter got married at her wedding he was like something out of a horror film his mother told me she had to leave the wedding because she couldn’t watch her son any longer he was saying inappropriate things to other women she told me I was angry with him from that morning every thing was going wrong my daughter was in tears and my husband went of down the town to buy himself a meal

The next day after the wedding on my phone was photos and videos of the wedding I was going through them I came across a video where he was saying to a woman he would love to ravish her and rub his body all over her I was and still am disgusted with that Visio he said he was just enjoying him self and didn’t mean anything by it

I then found out I could do a hair drug test he did refuse at first but then said he would do it he later told me when I got the results he didn’t believe it was a real test it was real

Ever since he has been on and of drugs he will do 2 days on 2 days off it’s that bad the longest has been 13 day then he done it for 4 days

I just don’t no what to do any more any advice would be appreciated thanks sorry if I don’t make sense

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