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And to you. Sorry for the late response but I have been on a bit of a rough one this last couple of weeks.
I think its fear in your fellas case when it comes to talking about it, that’s definitely why I haven’t talked to my wife. You just feel SO ashamed and embarrassed so you instantly try to shut it down when it gets mentioned “nah, seriously I’m fine, yeah yeah it’s all good I don’t want to think about it” that kind of thing!
Thanks for your kind words and I really hope you get to the bottom of the whole thing. I’m setting some goals up for the next 5 years so that my mind isn’t always on drugs, ya know like buy a campervan, take kids to Disney land and im putting pics of those desires on my fridge so everyday there is something positive to look forward to?! Hey, might work!
Hope you guys weather it all and come out stronger on the other side.
Love n best wishes OK.
I literally registered on this forum last week so he might not be a million miles away from where I am.
Recognising you are not doing the right thing when dependant on drugs is one thing, it’s having a single solitary idea what you can do about it that’s a massive hurdle.
There are relatively good options through a GP if the effects of coke are what your fella craves. The American brand name of a good substitute is Adderral, it has similar effects on the central nervous system as cocaine but in a much more manageable way, its cleaner ( as the efficacy of cocaine is a real lottery based on the cutting agents it contains) and it is far easier to monitor and therfore taper off, plus its free which is so important for you as a family. Biggest improvement I’ve had is telling a gp who was able to provide a decent alternative. Perhaps make yourself a GP appointment without your man present when all this corona thing is out of the way and ask what he or she would recommend?
An effective, clean substitute combined ( eventually) with therapy to deal with the man’s childhood is out there to be found. As I said I don’t know you and as humans our personal circumstances are SO intense and complex that it’s impossible to recommend a course of action but I hope you guys find it and it’s awesome that he’s got a lady out there looking for solutions. Keep at it and ( if you can) keep smiling OK.
Hi there, sorry for what you are going through. I’ve got a wife and 3 kids and am an addict but not to Cocaine. Cocaine is tough as it’s so incredibly expensive, I’ve tried it in the past but honestly felt barely nothing everytime. Your man must be like so many others that are hard wired to enjoy it. I’ve seen friends really obsess over coke and i imagine that must be so difficult for you as you must be seeing really polarised mood swings? Its a massive vicious circle for your fella as although drug dependency looks heavily self indulgent on the surface he is likely beating the shit out of himself for how his head feels regarding you and your kids. I can relate, nothing and I mean NOTHING seems in any way enjoyable or even possible when you aren’t high, your routes to get high are often exhausting, fraught with tension and you feel so angry at yourself at feeling like there is no other option… “I want to make my children happy but I can’t contemplate that kids movie or computer game as at this moment. I want to beat the shit out of myself with guilt… Need gear to show love etc”….
Best advice I can think of is take yourself and your kids out for a day with family or friends and leave a letter saying that you know what’s happening but you love him with ALL your heart and you are his rock, you and him will beat it, you will help him taper, go to the doctors, and cuddle when he needs it, whatever it takes for all of you lovely people. Things will ALWAYS be worse as long as he considers YOU an outsider, you wouldn’t abandon him if he had a disease and you sure won’t abandom him with this, he needs to know that. All that is my assuming you love him and he’s not violent towards you and the wee ones?
Hey look, I don’t know you at all but just getting yourself on here and confronting it is a big step and you should see it as such. Getting stuff of your chest is helpful sometimes and that’s why I have registered as I can’t live the way I’ve been living for 4 years now.
Keep talking and if I see your messages and others see them you will have a sounding board OK. God bless you, your man and the little ones.