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You just need to get to the stage where you’re not ruminating on all these things.. all these things that pop into your head and cause you pain. Because trying to have a relationship with an addict is pretty much full time pain, and they do nothing to atone for it, until they get clean.
Just try to focus on your self healing, it’s all you can do right now. Deep breaths and tell yourself ‘let it go’
but just so you know, it’s perfectly normal to be going through all these emotions. Like myself, I think you need to step away and allow yourself time to heal.
If she’s accepting you deserve better than she can give, then she clearly realises that she has been wrong in how she’s treated you – so try not to respond, or react. It doesn’t do you any good to become bitter. Whilst using, no addict is going to really see the damage they have done. And until they accept that they have a problem and get help, it won’t improve – so it’s best to walk away.
If you have been a presence that challenges their drug use, then you are going to a welcome absence. No addict wants someone around challenging their behaviour and telling them what they are doing is wrong and damaging.. it kinda kicks at their conscience. So just continue to step back, stay away and heal yourself.. and don’t beat yourself up for however you feel. Accept your feelings, acknowledge them, and then take steps to deal with them. It’s ok to have a bad day or two.. just keep telling yourself you will also have good days.
He was clean for approx 11 days before he went in, he was feeling ill.. but he is in there now.
I’ve seen several programmes about the police and drugs and how these dealers ask addicts to ‘deliver’ something, or look after something, before you know it, it’s gone missing and you have to work the debt off. It’s a classic ploy they use. They then get you either dealing, delivering or using your house/flat to do their dirty work. I’ve no doubt my partner owes them nothing as he said himself, these people don’t give you credit. They just don’t like losing paying customers. But he is away from the area now.
He is free to leave the rehab, but he was so desperate to go, I don’t think he will. So I am hoping he gets himself clean and well. I don’t think beyond today and just keeping myself fit and well.
How are things with you?
He was clean for approx 11 days before he went in, he was feeling ill.. but he is in there now.
I’ve seen several programmes about the police and drugs and how these dealers ask addicts to ‘deliver’ something, or look after something, before you know it, it’s gone missing and you have to work the debt off. It’s a classic ploy they use. They then get you either dealing, delivering or using your house/flat to do their dirty work. I’ve no doubt my partner owes them nothing as he said himself, these people don’t give you credit. They just don’t like losing paying customers. But he is away from the area now.
He is free to leave the rehab, but he was so desperate to go, I don’t think he will. So I am hoping he gets himself clean and well. I don’t think beyond today and just keeping myself fit and well.
How are things with you?
No he wouldn’t bother me with his money problems. Thing is, he doesn’t owe any money. It’s a classic scam the dealers do to get you caught into their debt. He can leave if it wants, and if he does, I will have no more to do with him.
If he is stealing from you, that really is the bottom of the pit. You need to get him out of your life.. trust me I know how hard it is to walk away from a loved one and feel like you’re giving up on them, but until he admits he has a problem and gets help, things will not get any better for you. You really mustn’t buckle to any pleas, crying, begging.. get him out of your life until he can get clean.. because I can tell you from experience, it will NOT get any better.
well he’s gone David, leaving behind a filthy drug dealer who is claiming he owes him money. I won’t go into any more details… but he is now in a safe place, and I get at least 3 months sanity – time to think, time to breath.
How are you doing?
I am just supporting him right now.
I know that when he goes he will be away for at least 3 months, which gives me time to reset myself.
wow I am really pleased for you. You seem to have made a massive leap in your personal progress. That is such good news.
You’re right, if she is balancing her life with the drugs still in, she is nowhere near to acceptance.
My partner is now at the stage where he feels this is his last chance, not just to kick it, but with us. Me? I am not so sure. I don’t think beyond just wanting to see him off, and get some balance and peace back into my life. I don’t think beyond each day. It’s the easiest way to live, no expectations, no disappointments.
I’m so glad you’re in a better place. Maybe with enough time, your girlfriend will start to see what she’d losing, or lost? They usually do.
Hi David, well I found myself back into my partner’s world, which had a negative impact on my mental health and well-being. However, I allowed it for one reason only, in 3 days he goes into rehab and I won’t have to deal with it anymore. I feel I’ve done my duty to support him through this time, and I feel ok right now. Counting down the days. But essentially I am protecting myself as best I can, and I have to say, my partner HAS been on his best behaviour, and trying his hardest, which is all I can ask of him until he goes. How are you?
I haven’t no. I can’t really tolerate reading or watching anything about drugs now, because of my own personal experiences. It’s too painful. I’ve lived it. I don’t wish to see or read more about it.. if that makes sense.
As I said, it’s a battle that never seems to end. I think all we can do is protect ourselves.
I haven’t no. I can’t really tolerate reading or watching anything about drugs now, because of my own personal experiences. It’s too painful. I’ve lived it. I don’t wish to see or read more about it.. if that makes sense.
As I said, it’s a battle that never seems to end. I think all we can do is protect ourselves.
I haven’t no. I can’t really tolerate reading or watching anything about drugs now, because of my own personal experiences. It’s too painful. I’ve lived it. I don’t wish to see or read more about it.. if that makes sense.
As I said, it’s a battle that never seems to end. I think all we can do is protect ourselves.
I haven’t no. I can’t really tolerate reading or watching anything about drugs now, because of my own personal experiences. It’s too painful. I’ve lived it. I don’t wish to see or read more about it.. if that makes sense.
As I said, it’s a battle that never seems to end. I think all we can do is protect ourselves.