[thelostone]

addicts are messed up in the head, and she is almost certainly trying to wipe all traces of you from the flat. If she sees something in the flat that reminds her of you, it will be a painful reminder of what she’s done, and addicts don’t like that kind of guilt.

If her children are using with her, then you are definitely part of the problem and not the solution. Addicts do like to group together, it validates their own crappy behaviour.

Talking to her family, you can’t predict her family’s response and however they respond is not your responsibility, is it? Are you on good terms with them? If so, you are perfectly within your rights to go speak to them, if only to convey how much you’ve loved her and tried to save your relationship.

[thelostone]

you’re really not alone, in everything you’re written.

It’s what I’ve written in my letter… even when he was going rehab, on the morning, I confronted him with someone.. he STILL lied. It’s the lies… even when you tell them you will still support them. That comes from guilt and shame at using drugs. My partner told me that his self. And whilst they are using, they will be defensive, turn it round on you to deflect things (it’s your problem), denial, minimising, all this is drug tactics they all use.

Maybe it would help you to go speak to her family, find out the real story. I know there’s two sides to any story but more than one member, if they are all saying the same thing, and they have no reason to lie, it might make the picture clearer for you.

[thelostone]

exactly.

With some thought, an email wouldn’t work. He has to read it on a very small phone screen, so that is futile. I would need to print and post it. Which gives me 24 hours to consider things.

My overriding feeling is that one line of abuse makes him shocked, but really it is the tip of an iceberg and my full length reply really documents every single moment of abuse, and explains why it went wrong. If I can catch him in a moment when he isn’t a defensive drug fuelled idiot, it will certainly hit home.. and I could feel I’ve said all I want to say, and maybe get some closure.

Didn’t I say to you it never end? No matter how strong you are, if you are a kind, compassionate caring person, it never end.

[thelostone]

Yes, I press the submit button and it does nothing.

He said that because of the drugs he couldn’t see the damage the was doing and he is shocked to see a message I screenshot that he sent me, and that looking at it he said he wouldn’t forgive himself either. He said he’s ashamed..

I’ve written an awful lot in my reply and I am feeling inclined to email it to him. I didn’t because I grew tired of getting crappy defensive messages back and more abuse.

I will let you know what I decide.

[thelostone]

Yes, I press the submit button and it does nothing.

He said that because of the drugs he couldn’t see the damage the was doing and he is shocked to see a message I screenshot that he sent me, and that looking at it he said he wouldn’t forgive himself either. He said he’s ashamed..

I’ve written an awful lot in my reply and I am feeling inclined to email it to him. I didn’t because I grew tired of getting crappy defensive messages back and more abuse.

I will let you know what I decide.

[thelostone]

I honestly don’t think beyond each day.

It’s the only way to survive. But do I think he will change? No. He’s too old to change. It’s too embedded in him.

I am seriously considering sending it to him now. I have a few hours to think about it.

[thelostone]

I honestly don’t think beyond each day.

It’s the only way to survive. But do I think he will change? No. He’s too old to change. It’s too embedded in him.

I am seriously considering sending it to him now. I have a few hours to think about it.

[thelostone]

I honestly don’t think beyond each day.

It’s the only way to survive. But do I think he will change? No. He’s too old to change. It’s too embedded in him.

I am seriously considering sending it to him now. I have a few hours to think about it.

[thelostone]

I came out to visit my parent. I’ve been receiving more texts from him. So much so that I ended up replying, because he was asking if I was ignoring him to take revenge and that it was cruel.

I simply said I won’t speak to him as longer as he uses drugs and I will never again suffer his abuse.

He is full of apologies and said how ashamed he feels, and that he will never ever make me sad and will only contact me again when he is the man he was.

I am currently debating whether to send my full length reply via email. I will think about it. He is due to go into rehab so maybe it will give him something to consider whilst he is away .. whether that happens.

As I said to you David, it never ends.

[thelostone]

I came out to visit my parent. I’ve been receiving more texts from him. So much so that I ended up replying, because he was asking if I was ignoring him to take revenge and that it was cruel.

I simply said I won’t speak to him as longer as he uses drugs and I will never again suffer his abuse.

He is full of apologies and said how ashamed he feels, and that he will never ever make me sad and will only contact me again when he is the man he was.

I am currently debating whether to send my full length reply via email. I will think about it. He is due to go into rehab so maybe it will give him something to consider whilst he is away .. whether that happens.

As I said to you David, it never ends.

[thelostone]

You sound a lot like me, overthinker etc.too sensitive and take things to heart.

Maybe do it again. Get out. Just give yourself, your mind, a break.

[thelostone]

You sound a lot like me, overthinker etc.too sensitive and take things to heart.

Maybe do it again. Get out. Just give yourself, your mind, a break.

[thelostone]

You sound a lot like me, overthinker etc.too sensitive and take things to heart.

Maybe do it again. Get out. Just give yourself, your mind, a break.

[thelostone]

yeah just caught me as I was replying to you.

I am going to get out and get some fresh air.. and clear the cobwebs away. It helps with the mental side of things.

Do let me know if anything happens, or you get low, or how things are going. x

[thelostone]

listen to this song david..

ella henderson

Sunday, rain drops, clock goes tick tock

I hate myself for staring at the phone

Get all your text, can’t erase them

I call you up but I know you’re not alone

I know that I should not hold on, so why can’t I let go?

‘Cause every time I’m with you somehow I forget to breathe

You got me like a rag doll,

Now I’m dancing on your string

And I keep trying to figure out who you are to me

But maybe all that we are meant to be

Is beautifully unfinished, beautifully unfinished

You left your kiss like a bruise on my lips

Your fingerprints are tattooed on my skin

And hush now, don’t cry, build your walls high

And don’t you dare come creeping in

‘Cause you’re the one that I can’t lose

You’re the one that I can’t win

‘Cause every time I’m with you somehow I forget to breathe

You got me like a rag doll,

Now I’m dancing on your string

And I keep trying to figure out who you are to me

But maybe all that we are meant to be

Is beautifully unfinished

And I hate you, and I love you

And I wish you’d go away

And I hate you, and I love you

And I wish that you would stay

‘Cause every time I’m with you somehow I forget to breathe

You got me like a rag doll,

Now I’m dancing on your string

And I keep trying to figure out who you are to me

But maybe all that we are meant to be

Is beautifully unfinished, we’re beautifully unfinished

[Author]

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