[thestig1706]

Yeah mine was the same. Was in hospital with me having to clear her poo up where she was constantly messing herself and was being told she’d die if she had any more alcohol. Somehow she carried on drinking for another 3 years.

Good for you for saying something to your friend. I can’t imagine that was easy.

I tried subtly and one of my friends definitely got the hint, saying she thought I wanted space. Told her nope, never felt so lonely and depressed and still not heard from her again. It baffles me people do it and don’t think or feel guilty and such a horrible lesson to learn in already horrible times.

Thankfully I think I processed the fact I couldn’t stop her drinking when she was here and I learnt not to take responsibility for it. It was more her behaviour and rejection I still struggled to compute. My last conversation with her was confronting her about inviting others to Xmas but leaving me out and she was angry that I brought it up.

It’s shit knowing that was my last conversation.

I try and relate her drinking to her coping method. I imagine it would be like us turning to a substance now in order to cope, which to be honest I can see the appeal sometimes!!

You have no responsibility for the debt though? Mum ran up £20k debt, step dad paid it off, found she’d done it again a few days after she passed. Thankfully all on credit cards though so it can’t pass to another person.

[thestig1706]

Hi,

Thanks for your reply.

Yeah it all sounds very similar to my mum. Apparently she’s not been drinking since she came out of hospital 4 years ago. It was always insulting how she’d expect me to believe that when she was clearly drunk. Addiction is so evil and it just makes the person so hard to be around and then you feel guilty when they’re gone.

I definitely wonder the same with the choice to drink. Was it a subconscious slow suicide? Was it masking something she couldn’t deal with or be able to talk about?

Did you feel abandoned by your friends? I feel angry and bitter towards them which I hate as it’s not a usual response from me. It may be misdirected or exaggerated because of the situation I suppose.

How long has it taken to have some sense of normality? (If you have got anywhere near that yet).

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