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Hi Drained mum its hard isnt it. Easter Sunday I spent loke a zombie I had 2 hours sleep saturday night as the evening was filled with chaotic antics from my 17 year old. It ended with texts from him at 5.30am telling me his life was a joke and he had been beaten up. Of course i picked him up straight away. I felt so guilty as at 2am i had told him when he comes home he is going to the ymca to live as i cant take anymore. He has stayed in the house since with promises to change….. until this evening just had world war 3 as he said he was going out. I reminded him that i mean it about the ymca and he had a meltdown saying he hates us. To be honest the feeling is mutual right now i do love the boy i gave birth too very much but i hate who he is today 🙁 . I had a call from a domestic abuse charity today and that upset me how has it come to this that i am talking to a charity for domestic abuse about my son for which the referral went to them from the police.
It is hard to try and be the peacekeeper in the house. Everyone is looking forward to covid restrictions ending to go away etc though the thought of that makes me feel worse as i cant imagine taking my son anywhere right now and there is no way i would leave him in the house alone I would return to an empty house i fear. I cant see any future or future happiness with my son right now.
If you havent already please see your gp. I spoke to mine (well sobbed to her) and she prescribed me some anti anxiety tablets. They arent a miracle cure however they most certainly have taken the edge off and I can now think it a bit more rationally.
I know how you feel about withdrawing from people. If it wasnt for my partner i would have succeeded in that myself. My partner forces me out everynow and again and although i dont tell our friends about things anymore it helps to just talk about normal things othet than thinking of all this drama. One of my friends sons was 18 the other week. He was best friends with my son when they were younger. I posted a birthday card through the door and sobbed my heart out after when I walked away. I dont know how they can both be so different to other now. They used to be so close and now they wouldnt even have anything to talk about anymore.
It may be worth asking your doctor if there is someone you can speak too. You are welcome to speak to me.
All we can do is hope one day for better days
I can relate to this. My son is 17 and has been using coke for 2 years. He has mental health conditions. I have sat just now at 2am on easter sunday and emailed the ymca to see if they can take my son as I am now at breaking point. I feel i may be enabling him by giving him the life he has though i am also torn as he is 17 and he has mental health conditions. I lay awake most nights wondering what i can do to help. I have been open and honest with all professional agencies in the hope they will help however i am advised because he is not waiting to be convicted of a crime and because he hasnt a criminal record there are no services that can help me. He cant go to family as they are sick of his lies and to be quite honest i dont want to give them the stress that comes with trying to keep a roof over his head. He jumps from friends to friends. He had a good few weeks and then somehow he has made a new friends who he promises doesnt take drugs though i am very aware he does. He has just left the house in a taxi at 12.40 am…. promising he is not taking drugs. Really. We have slept with keys under our pilllows in an attempt to keep him in. Last weekend he was trying to climb out the bathroom window at 4pm in the afternoon as we wouldnt let him out. He was not phased by the drop which to any rational person you could see would break bones. He only did not go out of it as he couldnt fit. He ended up pushing me and threatening me in a frenzied rage. My partner called the police who came out though we were no better off as i said no to pressing charges. I didnt want to damage his future with a criminal record – is that me enabling him? The police have been regularly at this house these last 12 months. Some times the neighbours have called the police because of his rages. I have another son in the house who doesnt need to see all of this. I feel ashamed to say this however i feel like i am starting to hate my own son. He ruins everything, Christmas night he took off and we had to call the police. My partners birthday, the day my grandparent passed away every single event is ruined by my 17 year olds disregard for anyone and anything other than his own self and drug use. I am at my witts end. I dont know how my partner and my other son cope in this house. I dont tell friends or colleagues as i am ashamed i dont want them to know what goes on as i dont want them to judge him later in life if he manages to have a clean life. I spend most nights preying for a miracle which I feel is never going to come. I feel my son that i gave birth to has gone and we have lost him forever. Sorry to jump on this post i guess it is a relief to read that i am not alone
Hi Sabin yes i know the feeling. Im not sure i will ever give up though i must say i can see why people do cut ties in this situation. I fear this will make my son worse in that i am throwing him to the wolves and i will loose a lost son even more. I worry as i am sure you do if i give up on him, who else has he got.
I have found some glimmers of hope on success stories on here and a couple of social media videos where they talk about recovering from addiction and advise others. Its possible. And one day it will be our sons hopefully xx
Hi i dont know what to say and i dont have any advice to give. I am new to this forum. My son is 17 and is addicted to cocaine. It is breaking this family. He has a substance missuse worker who he has been seeing weekly for over a year. He has been off all drugs for the last 2 weeks. I did a drugs test on him on Sunday after he had been out on his bike the day i guessed something wasnt right. I hoped the test would come back negative but it was positive. I have ran out of tears this last year. We are now back to square one and it has been very difficult in this house today. It is hard to remain calm when he is like this. I wish i could disappear some days as i dont know if i am making things worse. I dont like to tell people outside of the family as i dont want people to judge him he is so young and has his whole life ahead of him. He is so gulible. He is registered as vulnerable person with police. I have tried everything i can think of. I am thinking of trying hypnotherapy for him though wr have already spent thousands trying to help him and we dont have cash to spare on things . I thought there would be services that could help but because he isnt waiting to be charged for any offences all doors of support are shut to us