[twinkle]

Thank you, I begin to doubt myself so badly.. he won’t accept responsibility for it I know, just wish he would appreciate me

[twinkle]

Thank you I am so glad I have found this forum, and all you lovely people who understand and do not judge, We live in a rural community and to be honest there are no services I could access that are not 45 miles away at least, the GPs do not have any clue about drug abuse and other effects, my family do not understand, My Mum and Dad are gone who loved us both unconditionally, my husband and I are really just two halves that only make one whole one, and with him on another binge I just do not have the answers

[twinkle]

I know Thankyou, but sometimes you just arent strong enough…

[twinkle]

I do speak to the samaritans, it does help a little, but words mean little sometimes dont they? Ultimately it comes down to just you

[twinkle]

Where I work is a family company, they are very lenient and allow calls etc, it’s only 5 mins away from home and as it is a shop nothing stopping him coming in..

He has been signed off work for years for his liver disease, mental health problems and drug issues, have already list my sanity…

[twinkle]

I do try very hard to focus on my work and enjoy what I do, and try to make a difference to our little independent shop, and I think I am good at, but when the mood takes him he will ring up and ask for money, it takes over my mind which is already messed up with grief, poverty and then trying to find another friend to borrow from etc whilst I go without..

I try to focus on me, but it’s just impossible, I could go away for couple of days next week but a I gave no money for train fair, and b unless he left with a bucket of money the way he us it would be impossible, there is no real escape if I didn’t love him and care for him so much the options would perhaps be easier, but for now I can only see one.. drink for sure is not the answer, it is just the same as drugs, although people see it as acceptable, he has just got up, still messed up, took the 20 I was saving in 20p to have my haircut and gone out, was absolutely hateful before he went, he s are me when he is like that, and he knows it

[twinkle]

Thank you both, I am on anti depressants and have had a course of therapy following my Mums death when I was diagnosed with PTSD, I have some very good close friends who thus far have kept me alive to be honest, but you cannot burden them with your problems all the time, and when you lose hope like I have now what can anyone say? I know I can not help by husband, it’s not even about helping him anymore, I am not trying too, by financially doing it, it allows me to continue to live in my wonderful rented home, surrounded by lively neighbours who also think the world of him, if the landlord was to get a hint of anything e.g drugs arrested for doing what ever he would need to do to get gear he would evict us, this home us my safe place, I live it, I have several plants in my garden from Mums, just could not bear to lose it

Drinking does make me more depressed but I do not know what else to do anymore, if you have no hope, no future, no money what is the point? I work hard as deputy manager as a shop and juggle it around him,

Its not always so bad and sometimes I think that makes it worse, I see the man I love so often, his Dad died earlier this year and of course that has not helped

I cant see another way out anymore, to go to sleep, not wake up and be with Mum and Dad, he says ( and I believe him ) he would kill himself if I was to die,

[twinkle]

Hi, I have just joined and after reading your story felt compelled to write, I have been with my husband 25 years, he has too battled with addiction for most of his life, he had been back on smack and crack twice but for the last 11 years been much more stable and things settled down nicely, then he got given some Valium which make him extremely unstable and we are off again with smack etc and this time I am finding it really really hard to cope with, oh yes it was bad other times but somehow coming out of the blue like it has is killing me

[Author]

Posts