[waitwhat]

I just came across this thread and am grateful for it! I too, recently found out that my husband has a crack/cocaine addiction and feel like my world has been turned upside down. I don’t know what to do anymore. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s last spring and I had to put her into assisted living, then my father passed away 6 months ago, and now I feel as though I’m losing my husband.

He’s self employed but has stopped working, has drained his bank account and is now going through our joint account quite rapidly. He’s turned into someone I don’t recognize. I can’t believe anything he says anymore. He is paranoid, always accusing me of cheating and has become so mean and hurtful. I’m always walking on eggshells. He says that it only affects him and refuses to hear or understand how the children and I are affected.

The irony here is that I work in the addiction/recovery field! I know about addiction; how it affects the individual, how it affects the family, how it affects the brain and yet I feel completely lost in what to do! I know the person needs to want help, which he says he does but hasn’t taken any steps to reach out for it.  I’m finding it almost impossible to be compassionate about what he is going through.

Given everything that has happened in the last 8 months, my patience and tolerance are quite low! I’m still grieving, trying to deal with my dad’s affairs, and am finding myself resenting my husband for adding more to my plate even though I know his addiction has nothing to do with me! I want to support him in any way I can but I’m struggling to let go of my anger.

I’m wondering how you all cope with the hurt, anger, resentment and fears? How do you support them?

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