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Haha, yes it’s always in our imaginations and when they are caught red handed…
“You made me do it.”
It’s like sorry darling, didn’t realise when I go supermarket shopping I’m actually picking up your drugs, bringing them home to you, racking up your lines, providing the straw/ bank note then forcing you to shovel it ???? yawn.. ????
How do you communicate with your other half when he’s not using?
I find it really hard to not be resentful even when he’s not had any for a few days. I just end up overthinking it and then pushing him to it. Like the drug and his scruff mates win and I just end up with egg on my face?!
How do you communicate with your other half when he’s not using?
I find it really hard to not be resentful even when he’s not had any for a few days. I just end up overthinking it and then pushing him to it. Like the drug and his scruff mates win and I just end up with egg on my face?!
Yes Natasha, mine is also really forgetful then doesn’t believe me when I tell him the truth, like I’m making all of this up. Just getting so fed up of having this constant sick feeling in my stomach ????????
Ah so sorry but I completely get it. They just F with your emotions all the time and mess you about and manipulate.
He told me that he doesn’t care about me and that I was nothing to him, said he hated me then today changed his tune because he wanted some money, he’s just turned into this vile man again! Doesn’t want to take any responsibility what so ever.
Expects me to do all the running about and making all the changes he wants. I actually think he’s f’d from the drugs now or maybe he’s just got a shit personality anyway and I’ve been too blind to see it till now ????
Sorry to hear it.
Not good here either. Have you had much contact? X
Hi Shell,
How have things been? X
You’re so right,
I want mine to hurt like I do but it’s like he’s completely shut off from any emotion other than anger and it feels so unfair and one sided. Why can’t they just leave it alone and choose us instead?!
I’ve felt sick to my stomach all day, I don’t want to break up really and have the upheaval of everything. I hate the thought that he’ll remain happy or what ever he feels on his coke while I have to start fresh and process everything just because of his actions but I don’t want to play happy families and just fit into his chaos.
It’s no life and no real relationship when their primary attachment is to their drug of choice
If you feel like you can then I do think it’s worth cutting contact. Even for a couple of days. Message on here instead and rage if you need to.
I find it very hard to do personally but when I do cut contact and stop responding to his messages it does seem to have some sort of effect.
Mine always says I’m too interested in what he’s up to but when I stop, it kind of flips the roles a little.
I feel like no one on here including me, has any control over their situation. We need to take some control back! Xx
So sorry you’re going through this.
You’d think with everything they put us through that splitting would be the light at the end of the tunnel but you kind of feel defeated don’t you. Like the coke/ addiction has won ????
None of it seems fair when you’re emotionally invested in an addict.
I feel like I lose all the time. We are going through a break up too and I have so many emotions about it.
If I was you, I wouldn’t say anything to him, don’t try to reach out. You need to try and get some control over this situation. Do the unexpected as they seem to just play with our feelings.
Stay strong xx
Haha glad it did!
I can relate to how you feel but I do keep thinking what am I getting out of this relationship, if i can even call it that anymore?! We just go round and round in circles and it’s exhausting and the drugs just creates a massive wedge between us.
He says he wants to stop, he has a few days/ a week where he’s off it, I get roped back in, he uses again and goes on a bender, I lose my shit with him and we go through all the motions and then it’s back to where we started. It’s just no life and I think I and everyone else on here deserves so much better xx
Basically makes them not give a flying F, it’s hijacked their brain and the drug runs the show.
I guess they will feel ashamed sometimes but maybe they don’t recognise what the feeling is so they get angry and use some more.
Mine is really cold and uncaring. He doesn’t seem to have any remorse ever for his actions. Just seems to stomp all over my feelings with his average size 9’s ????♀️????♀️
Thank you, I’m trying.
Nothing seems to hurt them does it?!
I mean I know that deep down within them that they must hurt on some level, but to everyone else they act so coldly as they actually believe it’s us overreacting and causing the problems. It’s all to protect their addiction.
Has yours ever spoken of wanting help with his problem?
I always think it would be great if he got help, but there’s always going to be that possibility he’l do it again and relapse is part of it. I’m not sure it’s worth sticking around for xx
Mines still in bed, likely gearing himself up for another week of it with his scruff mates. I’d packed his stuff Friday night and left it in the garage for him to collect. Yesterday he returned, he put his stuff in the car and then come in the house and hasn’t left, then last night he tried to get me to leave in his rage.
He chucked all my clothes from our wardrobe downstairs and said if I didn’t leave in 10 minutes then he’d drag me out by my hair. Told him I was phoning the police and that I wasn’t leaving, he was.
He went back to bed and that’s where he’s stayed other than in the middle of the night when he needed food. He’s left all the pots in the sink and on the kitchen side, like it’s my job to tidy up after him.
No respect, pushes my boundaries. Just a shell of the man I once knew.
He told me he’s now signed up for help, but we were here over a year and a half ago. He signed up for support with his addiction and then never followed through. I think it’s a manipulation tactic so he can continue what he does and still have a roof over his head.
Plus he knows I’m paid from work in a couple of days and he has no money. I usually transfer my half to him for our shared bills but I feel like leaving him in the lurch and not paying him a dime! Xx