Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Sorry to hear this. Tough night? X
I just went to bed angry at him and woke up angry with him this morning.
I’m tired of ruined weekends and ruined days because he can’t get his shit together and stop using drugs.
I’m tired that as soon as I say anything at all about what he does he says I’m just ‘assuming he doesn’t want to stop’ or the other bullshit that pours out of his mouth. Sometimes I don’t care if he feels ashamed by his actions.
He’s a victim of his own doing and he’s just dragging me down with him. Sorry for going on a rant, I just want to scream!
Going to walk the dog instead.
How are you all doing?
Aww really sympathise with you and I am sorry you’re going through it.
They just treat you with such little respect don’t they. Mine will say things like ‘you deserve to cry’ ‘it’s your fault I’m using’ and it makes me feel like shit. He never really wants to address it, he wants to brush it under the carpet but still have the devoted girlfriend by his side, the one that gives him all the trust he wants while he treats me like second best to coke and does what ever else. Actually I feel like I’m 3rd, 4th, 5th best at that.
The whole situation just leaves me feeling like I’m crazed. Seeing him when he’s been on it makes me feel sick and the constant sniffing is disgusting.
I offered to trade his coke for £40 once so I could flush it down the toilet but he refused.
He continues to say he doesn’t want to do it and he doesn’t like it, but I’m not convinced he doesn’t like it or even want to stop.
Aw I think that’s awful of his mum to not support you.
Do you think she refuses to get involved because alcohol is socially acceptable, so she doesn’t believe it to be an issue? Like oh he just drinks a lot?
My partners family have been really supportive but I don’t always get the sense that people understand addiction. It is so complex
Mine tells me I shame him when all I say is what he’s done and I can be really reasonable and know I make perfect sense but in his eyes, everything is a personal attack.
Yes I think that’s part of it. It’s a stimulant isn’t it, so they can stay up for hours and hours on it. Mine did a night shift Thursday night and hasn’t been to sleep yet.
There’s also the crash after.
Mines in bed now as well after his bender. Just sat on his phone not a care in the world. Will likely come down for food later when he’s done starving himself from not eating for two days and raid all the cupboards.
These are the times I really resent. They stop still but time doesn’t. They just seem to waste their days like this?!
I hear you about wanting to rip his head off, I’d like to rip mines nose off ????
I’ve told him before that his nose is more expensive than some of our furniture!! Seems like the most valuable thing he owns.
Bad day today. I like how you described yours as a creature! I definitely relate to that. They do seem so pathetic sometimes and it frustrates me so much.
Have you ever come across ‘Put the Shovel Down’ on YouTube? https://youtube.com/c/AddictionRecoveryHelp
I find her videos really helpful when I’m trying to muddle through how I’m feeling x
Bad day today. I like how you described yours as a creature! I definitely relate to that. They do seem so pathetic sometimes and it frustrates me so much.
Have you ever come across ‘Put the Shovel Down’ on YouTube? https://youtube.com/c/AddictionRecoveryHelp
I find her videos really helpful when I’m trying to muddle through how I’m feeling x
My other half does everything you listed but the drink. He’s put gambling controls on his bank now but he never has no money anyway ????
What is he addicted to?
Aww I know how it is, the tear filled
arguments are all too familiar.
its a viscous cycle.
Haha I know, from having a full blown argument it stopped me dead in my tracks and I can remember just saying “Are you for real”. I think I was in disbelief at that point.
The cocaine fairy must have planted it in the house to get him in trouble with the mean lady who doesn’t like cocaine ????????
You said earlier, yours was a mean drunk. Is it every time he drinks?
Mine becomes nasty when he feels he is backed in a corner and needs to defend his habit, so he begins to put the blame on me and then I defend my own corner and put it back on him. He doesn’t like it or agree with anything I have to say.
Oh and I’m now a grass/ snitch for telling his family and ruining his chance to borrow money from them.
You said his family don’t want to know?
I know, and they actually believe what’s coming out of their mouth. I constantly get ‘if you didn’t react and had some trust in me then I wouldn’t do it’.. erm excuse me you work with people that are peddling it you and it’s under your nose!!
When mine said he was off it the week before last, I found it round the house. Not large bits but a few small rocks and some powder on the sofa that must have fallen out of his pocket. I confronted him about it and the best laugh is he tried to tell me some higher power had set him up.
They’re so delusional and lie through their back teeth just to have their drug of choice. Still denies it to this day and continues to say it was a set up.
I bet that was a blow finding out he’d hidden drink in his car. Like you wouldn’t ever find out or smell it on him?! It starts making you doubt everything that they say and do.
Kind of, when he uses he won’t come home straight away as he doesn’t want to acknowledge what it is he does. It’s usually one or two hours later than he’s due to come back from work, just sits in his car doing what he does somewhere. He likes to be undisturbed and I think when I have a go at him, he becomes angry with me for ruining his high.
So he was off it for a week last week and yesterday he decided to have it again and he’s just not come home this time. I think because he’s not had it for a week he feels he deserved a blow out.
I want him to feel as hurt as I do by it but it’s not going to happen.
He’s putting the blame on me again today but I’m sticking to my guns and keep letting him know that my reaction towards him is down to his action.
I’m not allowing myself to be drawn in to his chaos because he’s weak to cocaine.
My mind wanders and often thinks what else is he up to, but I can’t torture myself like that, it’s not fair.
Do you ever look at the life you have and think how did it get to this point?!
Ah I wouldn’t ask me about my plan of action lol. As soon as I know he’s done it most of the time I rage at him and it’s like arguing with myself. He didn’t come home yesterday and he’s still not back now. I put his stuff in the garage last night for him to collect when he feels like it but I don’t always feel strong enough to go through with it.
I can’t stand what he does, I’m sick of crying and beating myself up about it like it’s my fault. Every time I get angry or upset it just gives him that ammunition to use again after 2 and a half years, I’d love to be able to turn a blind eye to his coke use but I feel so tormented by it like it’s a form of punishment. It’s just seeped so deep into our lives that im looking for the strength to go through with letting him go now. It’s just so hard when you’re invested in someone and love them, I think it’s the feeling of ‘what if he gets clean’ and he’s no longer using how good would our lives be then. But it seems there comes a point where the damage is done and there’s no going back.
I think what you’re doing is helpful and choosing the time to talk to him about his problem is the way forward. If he doesn’t want to address it or seek help like mine, then I feel like they’ve made the decision for us in a way.
I just think it’s such a long process for them to stop what they’re doing that it will keep testing your patience but it has to come from within them to make that change x
That’s exactly how I feel so I honestly do understand. Mine thinks he can control it but it still happens every week. If he goes longer than four/five days he feels like he’s beating it and then he’s back to it and I’m supposed to congratulate him or something for going that long… it’s not long enough in my eyes.
It drives you crazy doesn’t it!
My partner has a cocaine addiction and he too thinks can wean off it. He wants it brushed under the carpet like it doesn’t exist and cause problems x