[Whattodo89]

I’m so sorry to hear that he passed, I’m sure no matter your journey that hurt so I’m sorry for your loss.

I’ve asked him to leave after more lies about drinking and if he has, where, who with and I realised no matter if im wrong on occasion the doubt, searching, pupil checks.. it’s all too much. I can’t be responsible for all of that every day and worrying what the next thing will be.

We haven’t spoke yet and I’m not sure what will happen when we do but right now I’m using this time to learn and I’ll read up on the model you’ve recommended thank you, and to think about what I get from the relationship and who we are outside of fighting the one of many problems.

One thing I do know though is I don’t like who I am in it and that’s alot. Did you ever deal with the anger and resentment? It’s hard to work through it all

[Whattodo89]

This is all so true. I’m not sure what I’m getting, I’ve took time to think about this and I’m asking for attention, love, to be held, emotional support and I manage the money.. I feel like when I look at it I’m responsible for all of it and he only needs to look after him but I still do that too.

So I’m not sure what I’m getting and that’s opening my eyes up. When he’s not drinking he’d down, angry, resentful.. would he always be like that if he stayed of the drink and codeine? Will it always be anger in the house or does that leave?

I feel like I have so much to think about and what to do. He can be so generous but it’s mainly if you are out or a birthday he can make you feel amazing but everyday? The negativity is overwhelming the more I think of it.

Love is so strange to still be here when I struggle to see the positive

[Author]

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