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My partner (male) is an alcoholic depressive, with each causing the other. This week I’ve caught him arranging sex with other men online (not that he can go), transferring money to men to pay for online sessions (which he cannot log into) and has generally been abusive, rude, demeaning to me all week, despite my missing work meetings and other commitments to care for him. This the latest episode in the last 18 months, with four bouts of this ending in hospitalisation that I can barely afford. He mostly recently came out of hospital and is now on a course of antidepressants which he recognises as being the right thing to do, but Monday he drank for the first time in around five weeks, and drank heavily whilst on a zoom call with his best friend. This morphed into a 24-hour bender where he drank a bottle of brandy and a bottle of amaretto which he had hidden in the house (I had already removed all other alcohol weeks ago). This developed into ketoacidosis for the first time, as the smell is strong and unmistakeable, but he won’t take advice, or see a doctor or go to the hospital. He’s just had two days severerly drugged-up and but today asked for wine and threatened to throw himself down the hill (our house is high up) if I didn’t give it to him. He’s already fallen over three times this week and injured his face and back so I cannot take any chances. I give him watered down wine as I cannot take the abuse anymore if I try to control it. The sad thing is, I’ve been here several times before and nothing changes. I always give him what he wants (watered) and I feel like I’m failing him in his care. I’m told frequently by him that I’m not doing enough to care for him, despite making three meals a day, changing the bed daily because he’s wet the bed, doing two loads of washing of his clothes for the sam reason, and lying to our friends as to why he can’t see them or we’re cancelling arrangements to meet. The ketoacidosis I feel is worse than just a passing/temporary condition, but he won’t allow me to get any help. I need help and I’m sinking.