[worriedsister]

Ok….. I rang him today.

He’s went into one saying why am I saying he’s on drugs ?

When he isn’t. And he’s insulted that I thought he’d touch that stuff.

Sooooo I didn’t tell him I went through his phone….!

But do I?

Omg I’m so mad and sad as I wanted him to just say he had a problem. He’s lying makes it worse now

And I feel terrible for going on his phone. F**k sake! X

I wonder if I see him over the weekend and confront him about it and ask if he’s up too nothing to show me his phone

I dunno god help me!!!

[worriedsister]

My sister drives and went through her GP.

They didn’t notify DVLA as far as I know as she is still driving now. And all the way through the past few years since she tried to get help.

but for peace of mind I would maybe arrange a GP call and find out for definite.

[worriedsister]

Hi

[worriedsister]

Hello x

I’m in a situation where my sister is an cocaine addict , her husband was an alcoholic and cocaine addict (he died in-front of his kids a few months ago now)

Aged 46!

I have found out my partner is using crack and smoking heroin at the weekends when I’m not with him. I’m heart broken, devastated! (That’s another story!)

My answer to you is try and support him. Has he been to his GP? Does it will he attend a therapy group?

My sister was using coke and spending every penny on it. Sat in her house on her own whilst her kids slept upstairs.

Coke was the most important thing in her life the kids were left with no food some days and neglected!

But she didn’t care all she cared about was getting her gear.

3 maybe 4 years on from her saying she wanted to get clean she is finally trying and has been clean 20 weeks but had one relapse when her husband died.

She attends through her gp and social services a drugs group and they drug test her we have also purchased tests online which we get her to do.

In the past few years we tried taking her back cards giving her only small amounts of money , having the kids as social threatened to take them.

I’m not sure what broke her really I think it was the threat of losing her children for good.

Maybe you need to tell your partner to seek help get into a group to discuss his problems. Threaten him that he will lose his child because if he spirals out of control he will definitely lose you and your child.

Cocaine is a terrible drug and people don’t understand how much is grips somebody!

My sister broke down many times telling us how much she hates doing it and doesn’t want to do it but the urge the addiction drags her in.

I still to this day find it hard to work out how anything can become more important than your own child/children.

Try and support your partner it’s early days but he needs to be honest with you. And most of all he needs to want to stop xxxx

[worriedsister]

That’s brilliant what you’ve written there xx

Especially if it helps you too! You’ve got a talent there xx

My partner was and I were a thing 10 years and I knew he dabbled with coke in his younger years as I did myself.

But when we got back in touch the past couple of years he never told me at all about being on drugs. In fact he told me when I asked if he would do coke again that he wouldn’t go near it it’s not worth it. Yet there he is secretly taking crack and smoking heroin!

He works 5-6 days a week in the building trade and functions fairly well. I noticed he has these late late nights , he lives an hour and half from me.so we phone and text a lot if we aren’t together.

And he would be up all night but in the past I’d stayed up talking to him with no drugs or booze.

And then he would sleep all day/night I started getting suspicious. When I couldn’t get hold of him I thought he was cheating so looked in his phone and found messages about him being off his head on drugs for the past couple of years.

I much rather he had another woman on the go I was completely gob smacked!

He’s yet to actually tell me himself and I’ve told him I know somethings not right but he keeps papering over the cracks and acting all normal.

I’ve messaged him again tonight saying I want honesty before anything else can happen.

But maybe it’s a lost cause. I’m devastated as you are too.

Everyone is telling me to walk away but even all those years ago it was love at first sight and I just feel I owe it to him to at least discuss it when he’s ready and see what he has to say.

If he doesn’t admit it I will know I need to walk away but I will tell his family so at least they can try and get him help. Xx

I think you are incredibly brave to walk away as I know how you are feeling and I guess I will be doing the same too.

I have a child from another relationship so I won’t be messing about if he doesn’t want to change then I won’t hang about. X

[worriedsister]

I’m so sorry.

I don’t know the right answer but I can’t imagine how you are feeling.

I wish addicts would think about loved ones before behaving the way they do but sadly the drugs come before everyone and everything.

I think if I were in your shoes I would try and help him BUT when I read this and think about it I would advise you not to….. he needs to help himself.

It is so difficult as we love and care for these people and it’s so hard to let them go but if they are going to do it they will.

I just found out my partner does crack and smokes heroin and he won’t talk to me about it .

I’ve tried via text as I thought it would be less pressured but he just ignores it and then carries on like nothing is wrong.

I mean he’s functioning works and you wouldn’t know at all I was so shocked.

But eventually it will takes its toll or he will depend on it more.

It’s such a tricky situation as I know like me you love your partner , so it’s up to you what you do or what you feel is right.

We also need to remember about our own well being and your children’s x

[worriedsister]

Amazing

I hope your meeting goes well and good for you for taking the steps to recovery.

[worriedsister]

No it’s fine x

I really appreciate any advice at all so thank you x

I will definitely have a look at Danman83 posts.

Thank you again x

[worriedsister]

I’m sat here crying my eyes out .

I’m absolutely mad about him and I guess my head thinks I can help him but my heart feels broken knowing I probably can’t.

Is anybody able to shed light on addiction?

He goes to work 5/6 days a week and as far as I know does this on a weekend.

He’s yet to open up to me. I sent him a long text to try and discuss or get him to open up and he’s not saying anything or admitted it.

I haven’t told him that I checked the phone as I know myself that was wrong but I just knew something wasn’t right.

Myself personally I’ve never questioned him before and I trusted him 100%

but just the behaviours mainly being awake at night or sleeping for 1-2 days made me wonder.

And this has just blown my mind. I have my sister who’s a drug addict , my brother in law that died from drink and drugs a month ago and now this.

I truly thought I’d found happiness and my heart feels like it’s been ripped out. Xx

Thank you so much for your honesty. I really don’t know what to do.

I want to meet him face to face maybe over the weekend and talk it through.

If he loves me like I love him then he needs to prove it to me now. X

Thank you again and I appreciate your honesty xxx

[worriedsister]

I have just found out my partner is using crack and smoking heroin and I don’t know what To do. X he’s 41 and my hearts broke I don’t want to lose him.

I am sorry I have no advice but wish these men would realise what and who they are destroying xx

[worriedsister]

I can’t really be of much use to you as I am going through the same thing with my older sister.

It’s really caused so many issues and arguments and upset it’s untrue.

We really struggle to understand what my sister is going through and I feel guilty for resenting her.

I am worried sick for her children as they are now under child protection

I hope things improve for you both x

[Author]

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