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Both come same way and I’ve seen both look identical.
Best way to tell is by your daughter’s reactions.
Looking out of it? Comatosed? Sitting glazed? Avoiding problems? Quiet? = Ketsmine likely.
Hyper? Won’t shut up? Bouncing? Very detailed and focused to extreme? = Cocaine likely.
What access to money gas she got?
Small packet of Ketamine £10-20, cocaine £70 -120 current street values I’m told.. obviously varies but Ket is much much cheaper.The detective work will help you understand what she’s taking and possibly why.
Dealers cut cocaine with all sorts of crap, my sons blood samples a few months back when he was on it showed high levels of paracetamol so you can guess what that was dug with to make it cheaper. A few bags of that and they’re way over paracetamol danger loading… or worse.
As illegal drugs are just that there’s no standard so you’ve no idea what they’re actually taking.
Truly awful.
I hope you can get your daughter to open up to you and get help soon. If this is dealt with early before she becomes too immersed in it then it will be so much easier for her to change the habit.
Best of luck ????
I recently asked my son who opened up and told me about all the different drugs he’s tried and how they affected him differently.
I asked him because I was interested to know, exactly what it was people got from here substances, in order to understand how they might be helped.
I first came across ketamine in the 1980’s working at a wildlife park where we used it to tranquilise animals prior to surgery and sometimes to put them to sleep. Later I was asked in the last decade if I wanted to try ketamine infusion for my fibromyalgia as pain relief ???????? I said hell no… it’s a thing.
My son informed me that as a ‘recreational’ drug, ketamine made him and his friends feel like they were on another planet. Hallucinating whilst being incapacitated – you can’t move he said. He said it takes you into another world, where there’s no pain. A trip, an escape. Each time is different and you get less bad trips which is unfortunate because bad trips often put you off doing it again.
He told me people do it to escape problems. So counselling might help remove underlying causes and stop the need to escape? Just a thought.
But yes to concur with others, not a drug to mess with and they need to chose help or ship out before they’re permanently damaged. Getting them to open up is so important.
????????
Don’t feel guilty about doing the right thing. I’m a mum with an adult addict alcoholic son. It’s hell. We pray often some one will step in and take the burden from us because it’s so hard for a parent especially if we are ill, infirm, older…
Your brother is beyond having feelings for anyone now but himself, the drugs have numbed him out. Sadly it will take a major impact in his life for him to realise and hopefully change – or not. That’s his choice and no one has to live his lifestyle with him.
He’s endangered your poor mum and everyone in the family by his actions and he actually feels nothing towards caring by the sounds of it.
You have done an amazing thing. Get the right support for you and your mum.
He won’t starve, he won’t kill himself, although his lifestyle may ultimately do so. My son threatens all those things over and over if he doesn’t get what he wants, then he pleads, then he turns violent, etc etc. They play mind games because they know we care. It’s psychological torture.
Im starting to learn and I’m now walking away each time this happens because it will keep happening and it’s his life to manage and stop the cycle.
Cocaine robs a person of feelings. It is a demanding thing that causes extreme desire for more cocaine and nothing more.
Keep knowing you did the right thing and for your mom too. It’s hard to lose a child but living hell is not acceptable either and he was lost from the time he became addicted. He needs help yes, it’s an evil disease. But he has to chose that help and from the experts.
Youve done all you can. ????
Hey. Well done you on reaching out that seriously is a first step.
We all wish there was a magic wand to wave away the pain and damage drugs do don’t we? Truth is you have to find your own reason and make that the root of how you stop.
Just stopping on your own after such heavy usage isn’t an option because it’s actually dangerous. You need help and if you are lucky enough to be able to afford to check in to a long rehab that’s the way forward for sure.
Drug taking alters our personalities, the way our brains are made up. So becoming the new you once you have decided to do this, takes planning and support.
Be reassured that if you get through this, life is definitely worth living and you will get more natural highs in life than you’ll ever get from short lived crack.
It’s down to you to be committed to plan and make those changes looking forward to what life can bring. Right now, you are alive , and that my friend is a huge bonus. You’ve had a wake up call and only you can choose your path. Start with your doctors and be brutally honest.
The journey won’t be an easy one, but you can do it if you are determined and get the right help.
Very good luck and I hope you will be one of those coming back here in time to say how you achieved the biggest and best change of your life. Well done you took the first steps today.
Hello Whattodo.
One of the things that helped me break from my alcoholic prescription drug taking, abusive husband was this:
The Duleth model of power and control wheel. Look it up.
I thought I loved my husband it was why I stayed. But love like friendship is a two way thing. I realised looking at the wheel, that what I was actually feeling was co-dependancey. That my need for love and a close relationship was masking the truth of what our relationship actually was.
His alcoholism and addiction had become his only love. He was never going to be in a relationship with me, because he loved his mistress ( alcohol and drugs) whom he would never give up.
It gave me the strength to leave and opened my eyes to the reality of our situation.
In his case he never changed and went on to abuse others before he died. However I believe change for some is possible if they want it and not at the expense of others.
I would love to see here, experiences of those who have changed, who have come through their addiction and can explain how they managed it.
Whilst supporting each other here is lovely and helpful, I feel the most hope and help to us the family supports, can come from those who navigated the systems and won their lives back.Please give us hope.
You who have conquered these situations are invaluable ????????
I totally understand. My son 31 is much the same. We finally got him into his own place, we thought he’d turned a corner he was asking for help over and over. We could only help so much between the days he’s abusive to us; verbally, financially, emotionally. He says he can’t feel anything but himself.
We understand that drugs and alcohol physically alter the brain. My son’s personality is not who he was. Now even he says he doesn’t know who he is anymore.
He’s drowning in a downward spiral of despair reaching out between bouts. Yes he chose a wrong path but he’s asked for help over and over…… and where is that? Where is the help?Governments are supposed to help and protect the people. Where are they reducing the amount of drugs coming into the Uk? Where are they on limiting alcohol strength? No point in asking where our NHS services are to help those who fell off the wagon but are crying out for help they were cut long before COVID and now none exists in many areas.
I was in service for 38 years of my life to an organisation designed to stop drugs and fake substances hitting our streets but instead I watched the decline in effectiveness over that time.cuts in resources .
I watched the services set up to help free people from addiction and support their families also decline and fade away.The fabric of our society is being eaten away by the epidemic of drug & alcohol abuse and its impact on the heart of the family.
No one is untouched any more.I know you, like myself are in despair.
I, like you are grasping at straws for some one to do something to help.
But the truth is there’s only us.
The addict has to choose to change and if they don’t, then we have to walk away and deal with the violence aggression directed at us, and guilt we feel being unable to help.I hope in your area there are still organisations left to help (there are none where I live) and that your loved one sees the light and is willing to try to change.
I’ve spent the last 3 months yet again on the rounds of : Crisis team (who either say they can’t deal with him because he’s ‘intoxicated’ or ‘abuse’ ( correct he’s an addict) or send him to hospital), hospital (who check he’s still alive and send him home usually in the middle of the night after various suicide attempts), counsellor (who shakes their head saying he should be kept in, this is a disgrace etc but can do nothing), a period where he sleeps for days, doesn’t eat, begs for help, begs for money to buy substances to get out of pain (all endured by you) till he turns on you, then himself, attempts suicide, calls the crisis team… add nauseum….
I’m angry.
I’m angry that there’s no one to help and we are innocent bystanders being beaten to death with absolutely no one to help us.
Does the anger help?
Some times.
Makes me stronger, determined to walk away.
Then I hear and see my child suffering in pain in torture… we are all tortured by what he is going through..
And I want to help him of course I do… one last time.So how do we get off this not so merry go round?
We have to change the way addiction is dealt with in society. We have to make this a bigger picture. Some how we also have to limit the level of damage the abuse directed at us from our loved ones is at, so we can survive to change the world because that’s what we are facing.I hope you find your way through. I won’t give up fighting for my son. However I might die in the process another statistic on a government site.
Just to add, ‘promises’ to help means help, not do it for them. Even if you walk away, you fulfilled your promise. Promises mean nothing to an addict. They break their own over and over because the desire to substance abuse is stronger making promises impossible to keep. They are living by different moral standards now. Only they can change you cannot do it for them ????????
Hi Tatoogirl
One thing I thought, and this hopefully will resonate with you. You have done all you can to help him and none of this, is your fault. None of it.
When we fall for someone we fall, and we rarely realise until much later the person we love is actually abusing us by their behaviour.
When that abuser is a partner or spouse, even if we have children with them, we have a choice however hard that is, to separate from them both for their and our own good. Indeed if there is no listening or engagement to stop on their behalf, we owe it to ourselves to choose life. Living the way you are and being controlled by their actions, is abuse and it rarely gets better unless THEY have the desire to change.
I lived with an alcoholic, drug taking spouse for 8 years, 7 years of which I tried because we had 2 children together, I loved him, and I felt this was my own fault for taking up with him. In the end I had to get away before one of us died.
He stopped me from taking my children with me and I had many years of hell all be it supported by a new kind and loving husband after the first two years. I fought to get my children but he lied, abused the systems and poisoned the children’s minds saying I’d left them…
After 17 years he died. Was there relief? No. I had to deal with the emotional mess of my sons and rebuild some sort of relationship. Then my youngest son went off the rails and became an alcoholic and drug user. I’ve developed a serious long term incurable illness because of the stress. I’ve lost most of my family because I wouldn’t give up on my son. He rings me all through the day and night desperate for this and that, not caring if I live or die because the alcohol and drugs have made him stone cold selfish. I love my son, and myself and my husband are being ruined financially, drained emotionally, and it’s actually putting me on the verge of hospital with a major heart problem. This despite the fact my son was actually trying to get out of this situation and needs help but there’s nothing in our area ( another issue).
So what I’m saying to you, is get out while you can. Keep any children safe. Because this for me is a living hell and I’ll probably be dead before long. When it’s a partner you can leave. When it’s your child you are tied by an umbilical chord that is so much harder to severe.
All you did was fall in love with the wrong person. You deserve a better life. Walk away before it is too late. I’ve had 23 years of this and I’m at breaking point. Please if my story can help you walk away, then my life has some purpose left.
Good luck????