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Hello J48, thank for your understanding. I have found some of my wife’s journals. I can’t read them. She was really a sick woman. It’s terrible to see her die the way she did. I had moved out of the house for a bit to escape and to protect myself. When I would leave the house she found ways to hurt herself. Towards the end I had 911 over almost twice a week. She was passed out. One time she found away to give herself a black eye. The police investigated for possible abuse on my part. They suggested I leave for a bit. I did but I wished i didn’t. She called me at the hotel and asked that I come home. That was the day she died. Her last words were “I don’t want to drink anymore”. She died a horrid way she had puked every where and it was red with blood. I am so sorry to be so graphic. She died running away from herself in a lonely state. People don’t understand. It’s like you got to move on. We have been though so much pain. We will never find a way to forget. We will carry our scars to our graves.
Thank you may God hear us
I lost my wife to alcohol three years now and it still hurts. I had watched alcohol take her piece by piece for 10 years. The progression was horrible. To watch someone you love loose interest in life, pets, home, job and me has scarred me forever. To know you have been replaced by a bottle kills you. The constant lying, fighting, crying and despair has taken year out of my life. I pray when I die and I hope soon we will be whole and healthy. At times I don’t know who was sicker her or me. I had wished she would fall down the stairs and kill herself. I pulled her hair when she lied about drinking. People tell me Idid my best, I don’t buy it. I turned into a monster and not the person God wanted me to be. She is in a better place for she has done her hell. I am now stuck picking up the pieces and wishing for God to take me. I don’t know why way I’m posting this. It maybe my soul crying out for peace.