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That’s the thing we cling to what nor malory we find when we are in that situation. I hope you find the strength to do what you need to do because I know it’s a horrible way to live. You need to remember who you are x
Yes you will only take so much especially when you have your son to think about. We didn’t have kids together but we have children from previous relationships and I convinced myself that I didn’t let his problems effect my behaviour towards my kids but it did because I became so miserable and agitated and I can see this now. The only way is up. You won’t stay in this cycle forever love doesnt conquer all but we do it in our own time. X
The hardest thing to deal with is knowing you’ve been manipulated and allowed it, I am so annoyed at myself for that but I won’t let it bring me down I’ll learn from it. He is still trying now asking me to do things for him as he still thinks I will fold and get back with him…not this time!
Totally. I went back to him many times and tried to help him pickin him up when he was on his despair pity pot (clearly a comedown) I would drive miles ad comfort him he would promise he wanted to do it he wanted the ‘normal’ life with me 2 weeks later back to square 1. I thought I could live that life of knowing it was always a possibility because I had faith in him buts that’s cos I’m an empath, I was wrong. It’s lush waking up on a morning with no pressure and feeling free. Yes I have pangs of hurt but atm that’s because he is messaging me and trying to hurt me telling me is meeting another girl – crack on mate good luck to her. It’s uncanny how you can switch off when you need to.
Sorry to add I felt that pain you feel the more he hurt me the more I needed him. But the pressure of it all mentally grinds you down I can honestly say I’m 3 weeks away from him and I feel so free. We are not here to take on somebody’s burdens if they arent willing to try and help themselves. Be strong and always have someone you can talk to YOU WILL BE FINE XXX
Hey. I’ve just had to end my 2 year relationship because of his cocaine abuse and all that came with it mainly psychosis/selfishness/abuse/accusations. People told me I shouldnt be in his addictive cycle many times but I had to do it in my own time. I pushed everyone away who didn’t like my choice to stay with him. I went from a very social strong woman to the exact opposite due to the manipulation now I look at my relationship and realise it was the ‘narcissist and the empath’. What I will say is don’t be naive and gullible, trust your gut instinct always – I went against it all thinking love would prevail but it didnt in my case and I realise I’ve had a lucky escape. Just be careful and gentle with yourself.
Hey. My partner and I have went seperate ways this week after nearly 2 years together and a year of pure turmoil after he relapsed. It’s killed me and I’m a shadow of who I was, I had so much faith in this man I really did but I couldn’t break myself anymore it was detrimental all round it wasn’t even helpful to him anymore. I don’t blame myself I did what I can and it’s broke my heart and no doubt his but cocaine wins and I get the blame as per usual. Nobody can tell anyone what to do only share experiences until you find the power to do what is best for you. But I’m seeing things from a different angle now and it is hard to take in what we become in these situations. You will find your answer when you are ready but don’t go against your gut. X
Hey how are you getting on? I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you. Not so good my end to be honest but life goes on
Hi. You have made the first step… if you are ready to stop there is so much help out there. Set yourself a little goal today to speak to someone professional to get you in the right direction, it’s small steps and taking it a day at a time. Remember life is too short and you always can have a second chance at things. Don’t get lost off in the negatives when you are trying to make a positive change
Day 5!!! Go for it. I’ve spoken to my partner this is always the same tho it’s like a cycle but how we both choose to progress from it is up to us and has to be time measured and sensible I can’t end up back to square 1 again. Lots of realistic thinking ahead and not gettin carried away in the feel good of these very early days of “he’s said he wants to change” have to not lose our heads as it creates a bit euphoria.
You are at day 4 man …. well done … defo tap into support networks as you need them even if you feel you are doing good you need backup. Keep it up and keep busy you got this !
It’s a really strange time for everyone right now but the pressure is on for people who struggle with dependency , mental health etc. Make a small goal maybes? It’s getting it off your mind which isn’t easy we always want what we can’t have. Defo have a look at SMART. Google drug support in your local area but I know SMART recovery have drop in meetings which no doubt they will be running online at present. Do it now don’t wait. Keep going day 3 will be behind you before you know it. You don’t need that shit you can live without it just have to revisit yourself
I don’t mind hearing the other side of things it’s good and helps understanding. I never underestimate what it must feel like. But ride the storm keep going it’ll get a little easier in time don’t give in. You looking at recovery help I’m not sure if we can recommend things on here but SMART recovery is a brilliant tool for both sides
I literally don’t feel like I can walk away everyone is pushing me to do so but nobody is in our shoes. I can’t even explain it the feelin ive been thru so much shit in my life and managed to pull my head round but this is just the strangest thing. Total head rot
You’ve done the right thing by checking in here!! Day 3 just think back to day 1 I bet you thought day 3 seemed like a lifetime…keep digging deep keep busy. Have you got support around you ? Don’t isolate worst thing ever yet the easiest thing to do. I’m going thru the motions my partner has been in touch but not been very nice tbh it’s sad We can’t go on as long as he is using.