[zozo]

All I can say is Lord help us all.

Currently living with a cocaine addict, we ve been together and living together for 9 months, started off as love at first sight.

Until lady cocaine took over.

He told me he s been using for 25 yes but is in the process of quiting because he is getting tired of it… He also said I am the main reason behind it, as I clearly stated, I do not want to be with him if he keeps using. Sweared to me he doesn’t want to lose me and he will kick the habit, he even went to rehab, only to keep telling me lies he is not using anymore when I KNOW everytime he said used even though he denies it. Silly me.

I kicked him out the house once, he came back crying and swearing next time he uses he will leave himself because he does not want to see me hurt but guess what…. More lies…

The key is to identify the problem and realize you can’t help an addict quit if they don’t want it themselves.

I ve dealt with aggression issues, lies, more lies, mood swings, violence, being called names, diminishing behaviour, you name it because of his addiction.

I love him dearly but it has gotten to a point I’m not sure how much more I can tolerate this. I have started feeling sorry for him and do not admire him anymore like I used to. He keeps talking about marriage and having a future with me and of course I would be a dumbass to make plans with a man who is unworthy of my trust because of his addiction.

Had I known, what was lying ahead of me when I met him, I swear I would have run miles away…

I honestly believe cocaine addicts can’t really love. The only love they have is for cocaine. No matter how hard they try to trick you into believing they care about you, it s all lies. It s a disease. I ve tried to tell myself it will pass but it can only get worse and we need to stop fooling ourselves.

We, partners of addicts, need to love ourselves more and realize we will never be really loved by them. They simply don’t give a damn about us, no matter how hard we want to believe things will change.

Worst part is knowing they try to hide when we know the truth. It makes me outraged. Then they will blame you for not trusting them! Talking about manipulation…

I hope we all find the strengtg to realize we are worthy of true love and runaway from all this drama….the sooner then better…

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