Hi Bluecar,
Thanks for posting. Your partner does have a drug and alcohol addiction but he will need to want to be helped in order for support to work for him. This isn’t easy for you to deal with and you might consider getting support for yourself.
I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust, a charity the offers support to people, like yourself, dealing with a partner’s addiction. If you contact us we could put you in touch with one of our trained and experienced people who would understand what you are going through. May be talking with one of them would help to answer some of your questions and help you to make sense of things.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
I hope that this helps. Good luck.