You mustn’t blame yourself at all. My son starting smoking weed at school and I just thought it was a teenage phase. Then he had a family and I thought again that he was settled and happy. However he started using cocaine and he has now lost two families, including his children. It must be so difficult for you as he doesn’t live near you. You haven’t said how old he is. However, he has admitted to you that his use of cocaine is out of control which is definitely a good start. If he is sleeping through the day it can be an indication that he has been on coke through the night. While he is keen perhaps see if he will get involved in a drug rehabiltation programme. Although your husband doesn’t want to get involved with your son’s addiction at least he is concerned for you. Myself and my husband were able to see a counsellor for ourselves who gave us advice about how to deal with our son’s addiction. Maybe you have a similar service nearby that you can access.
You stay strong.