You have worries on both sides your son and your husbands op. It isn’t your fault, cocaine addiction can be hidden by lies until the personality changes.
My husband is the same, cocaine and alcohol. I’m the only person who has suffered in all of this, the devoted wife and the closest to him. He has ruined our happy life and has admitted it fully and has said I am not to blame. He won’t admit he has a coke addiction though. Luckily we have no debt (up till now)
You are not alone and I’m so glad you have a husband that is there to support just you. I can understand him not getting involved as he has to get his operation done and dusted so that he can be there fully for you.
Keep strong for both of your loved ones.