Hi Chu,
Thank you for posting and sharing your story. I am so sorry to read how difficult your dad’s addiction has made life for you and that it is coming between you and both your mum and your husband. Clearly you have very mixed emotions about your dad that you might want to talk about to someone who would understand.
I work for a charity called Icarus Trust that provides support for people like you who are badly affected by the addiction of a family member. We have trained and experienced people that you could talk with in confidence, if you get in touch. Talking might help you to make sense of how you feel about your dad and what to do next.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
All the very best to you.