Hi, we could probably write a book all the stuff that has happened and maybe get a movie deal. I honestly can say he has never raised a hand to me or yelled at me in an intimidating manner. From the outside it looks like he relapsed because he hasn’t been able to find a job as easily as he thought, but I feel it is just a comfort mechanism and he just wants to feel numb. Yep, it still upsets me because he has proven for years that he can deal with life without it. Your mom has great advice and when you are able to be free of him I hope you feel a sense of peace in your soul.
You are not crazy! Do not think that for a moment. I went to counseling before with my ex-husband who was an alcoholic ( I sure can pick’em 🙂 and I was telling her that I thought the problem was me and that I thought I was crazy for everything that was happening to me. She put her notepad down and told she had went through a similar situation and that is what they want us to believe. She was awesome!
After reading your response I felt i was not alone for the first time in a long while and i set up last night thinking about it and you know what? I cannot be responsible for his actions. Those are his individual choices and I have to stick to my goals so his problems do not derail my progress. I realized that this is a process that i cycle through with him. So I know I need to stop. Normally I come to reality when my finances are threatened because I live off of my retirement and university money I receive each semester, so his addiction is really making me mad. Luckily he was gone most of the day because his friend hired him to replace the flooring at their restaurant.
I’m so sorry your mom is sick. I know that is scary especially when you seem very close to them.
No we are not under quarantine yet our president is talking about getting everyone back to work by Easter. Most people in my small city are practicing social distancing. I’ve only been to Wal-Mart, the gas station and the closets Dollar Store. I’m normally an introvert and I do not mind being at home when everything is peaceful. All the restaurants shut down except for the drive through and curb side pick-up. Every business that can has people working from home. One of my friends went to the chiropractor and he did her session outside since the high for today was around 90 degrees. It is nice to not have all the normal traffic. I see posts on facebook saying mother nature is reclaiming her planet and it seems like it. There is a bird that sings all night and we say coyotes just wandering down the street yesterday afternoon.
LOL, sorry about your cookies. I burn stuff all the time and everyone calls it cajun food. I am sure you guys had fun making them. I have a 17 year old son and a 21 year old daughter. Her son is only 1 and feisty. He is always so excited to see me it warms my heart. I am only 43 but I look much younger and people always think he is mine.
I am coping okay. It feels good to know I have people who understand and that I can talk to. You know as women, people expect us to take care of and remember everything and with him on my mind too I felt like I would burst. I’m in my room watching The Amazing World of Gumball. It is silly but I like it. Anything to make myself smile. I’ve been in here most of the day catching up on my Communication Ethics class and knocking out some other readings for my classes I was behind on because on-line classes begin on March 30th.
I had a hard time falling asleep last night. I replied back to you at 1:30am my time. I normally stay up until 11ish. It is scary. I listened to a video that had Dr. Brilliant (I think that is how you spell his name) he worked on the cure for polio and he is blunt about the facts but tells us what to expect. I have hand sanitizer every where. I was going to make my own but most of the medical supplies were wiped out by the time I got to the store. I make sure to rub the baby down as soon as he comes in and I make sure to spray his baby saline solution into his nose everyday. I worry about him because he had respiratory infections constantly.
I hope you get some rest tonight!