Hi Sam,
I’m so sorry it took a long time for me to reply, its been a busy weekend with the little one and spent most of the time outside.
Anyway it sound like your other half is super controlling. Do you have a chance to stand up for yourself at all? i remember when it was really had with my ex and he always used to say that i was cheating on him and we would sometimes think that i had someone hiding in the flat! Ridiculous! Do you still want to be in this relationship? can you see a future with him at all? and has be always had an addiction from the moment you met him?
I always found the intimate part of our relationship really hard when i had my little one. I went through a really difficult birth (who doesn’t, right?!) and after that he was almost like “well that’s out of the way, when can i start again?!” and i was really sore, i had a emergency c-section and the scar after had got infected and i was felling really rubbish, with him just going back onto drugs and throwing out his demands for me. It went on for 2 years when i finally said enough is enough. I didn’t even enjoy the intimate times, i just felt like it was a job that needed to be done and it should never feel like that. I hate the fact that it was fun at one point of our relationship and i was remissness about those times, but i was 18 then and had no responsibility, i’m 28 now and have a child. It was time for me to stop dreaming about what it used to be like and what it could be like and starting looking at what it is like now. What needs to change. I know one of the things i definitely wasn’t doing was looking after myself.
How are things now? Are you OK?
xxx