Sadly I understand only to well. Cocaine changes them into monsters. From loving, loyal friendly people into monsters. Sadly that drug always seems to win! It’s literally the devil drug.
I also get how you’ve lost yourself in all of this, it’s heartbreaking but only too common. If you read many posts on here I’m sure you’ll be able to relate and recognize the behaviours of a cocaine addict.
I would not go down the road of believing what he says to you, as you are definitely not to blame for anything! It’s all to avoid him actually taking any responsibility himself.
As for what the counsellor stated that isn’t entirely correct! Cocaine don’t make you have an affair that’s ridiculous, however any mind altering substances will affect a person’s decision making, but they are still fully aware and conscious of what they are doing! Any addict will tell you that.
Although it take ordinary people and transforms them they are still in their own minds.
It’s always about lies, blame, betrayal and so on as it’s so destructive and sadly will get worse if they don’t make changes and fast. Plus they have to stick with it, because otherwise relapse occurs. That’s a different story altogether.
Focus on you, as believe me it will get even worse. I had a break down over what I went through, and six months on I’m still not myself. It’s soul destroying!
Al Anon can help tho so do try this service