Sorry for being late with reply.
The reason I started what I’ve realised is a combination of things.
Diagnosed at the age of 9 with ADHD. When I was 17 I had my tablets taken off me. It’s a good read if you have a look at ADHd cocaine and Ritalin similarities.
I wasnt weaned off them and went straight into cocaine a few months later.
That is my first reason. The second I was always in high pressure sales jobs. Car sales etc. It was a release from the pressure and made me feel good at first. Then it just spiralled and it’s been 10 years until 16 days ago I’ve been on it.
It has took money, jobs also caused me to tell lies and lose friends. It has consumed everything apart from my kids.
I am not prepared to lose my kids I’ve made that conscious and I suppose sub conscious choice that I will not use again. I’m putting support in place as well and have deleted alot of “friends” they wasnt friends they was drug companions/users a bit like I was…
And my final reason is I was selfish. I chose drugs over everything. When your in the midst of addiction though you aren’t the same. My heads clearing up slot but I reckon it has affected my brain but only time will tell.
I’ve been diagnosed as ADHD as an adult now 4 months back. I rang my ADHD worker asking if I can engage in mental heal services maybe CBT and she was like you have your tablets you should be feeling better…. that’s south Yorkshire mental health services for you. But yeah
With the drug tests like I said get the ones with the temperature strip on it