Gosh I admire you honesty so much! It’s incredible and what a bloody mess you have created.
But you are aware, you can tell that by your words.
No way should she take you back, but you should want to go back. You can’t.
A prison cell must have really shaken things up. But like you say you have got apprenticeships sept and a roof over your head (ok not where you want to be!) so it’s day 16, imagine what you can achieve by day 365!!! Keep going!!!